The Reluctant Soldier
by Dan Blayde
Summary: Based on the characters and events in Bioware's Mass Effect games. The characters and plot of this story belong to Bioware. An interpretation of the Mass Effect Story. Commander Emlyn Shepherd is chosen without her knowledge to be humanity's first Spectre. She wanted to hang up her gun and try to forget her nightmares, but if she doesn't get through them and fight, nobody will.
1. Prologue: Pawns and their Governments

Prologue: Pawns and their Governments

"Well, what about Shepherd? She grew up in the colonies." Ambasador Udina's nasal voice made it clear what growing up in the colonies meant to him. One or two senior faces around the polished oak table nodded knowingly, as if to dismiss the military's favoured candidate.

They were on earth, in Vancouver, sitting in a secure conference room in the central government complex for the humans' "Systems Alliance". Five soldiers had been on the watch list for the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance division of the Galactic Citadel Council, the Spectres for short. So far not one of the people on the list had inspired so much as a single question from the armed Turian in the room. He was a Spectre himself, called Nihlus, here to once again appease the Alliance by seeing if any humans were worth the Council's attention.

Commander Shepherd was the military's second recommendation, but her kind of fame was not in her favour with Udina. Whereas a couple of the other candidates had eagerly and expertly played to the press and worked for public relations, Commander Shepherd's efforts in that direction were minimalistic at best.

Captain Anderson, one of three military figures present, and a candidate himself once upon a time, glanced at his superior, Admiral Hackett. The Admiral's favourite had already been dismissed for lack of experience. Admiral Hackett had his doubts about Shepherd. Even so, he gave the nod.

"Exactly," Captain Anderson said to Udina. "She knows how tough life can be out there. Her parents were killed when slavers attacked Mindoir."

"She saw her whole unit die on Akuze," added Hackett. "She could have some serious emotional scars." He and Anderson exchanged a glance. That had been their agreed line, a set up.

Captain Anderson went on and said, "Every soldier has scars. Shepherd's a survivor."

Udina obligingly waded right into their trap, and asked, "Is that the kind of person we want protecting the galaxy?"

Anderson waved at the data pad that Nihlus was reading and replied, "That's the only kind of person who _can_ protect the galaxy."

Much as Udina and his colleagues wanted a diplomat, none of their preferred candidates could hold a candle to Shepherd on the battlefield. The dossier summary Nihlus was reading told that story, as did the intel report he'd read before arriving in Vancouver. Nothing fancy, just time and again getting near impossible jobs done. There were many notes in the file about Shepherd's habit of taking initiative, sometimes ignoring orders because she had a better idea, or even switching targets completely mid-operation. Her various commanders had loved her and hated her for it, but all of them acknowledged how effective she was.

There was a file here not on the Council's intel report, and he read with interest. "During operations in the fringes of the Traverse, Commander Shepherd boarded the MSV Segovia and neutralised the hostile crew. The MSV Segovia then immediately went to FTL. Commander Shepherd had identified reference to a slave ship which the MSV Segovia had been en route to attack. A recall order was sent to the MSV Segovia, which is absent from that ship's logs, although all equipment is functioning normally.

Acting without orders, Commander Shepherd liberated the batarian slaves, and sent them in shuttles to hide in the asteroid belt. Commander Shepherd's unit remained on the slaver, and sent a distress call to its owners through the relay network. Five days later, an obsolete turian built destroyer moored to the slaver and attempted to board. After two hours, Commander Shepherd reported the crew of the destroyer captured, and requested pick up. The destroyer is en route to Arcturus for salvage, and the prisoners will be interrogated to determine the identities of their employers.

Commander Shepherd has been officially reprimanded for stealing a vessel under Alliance command, for ignoring a direct order to stand down, and for employing unsanctioned military force. I hereby submit Commander Shepherd for courts martial on the charges above."

There was a footnote by Admiral Hackett, saying, "Commander Shepherd has been deemed to have acted within the bounds of her standing orders to defend the Alliance and her allies. The intel she had did not identify the species of the slaves, and only contained data for a short section of the slave ship's flight plan. On these grounds, it is judged that Shepherd's actions were the best actions possible to prevent possible crimes against humanity. Courts martial is dismissed."

Nihlus raised an eye plate. One fact stood out. Shepherd had liberated batarian slaves. She had rushed to action on behalf of people whose species was unknown to her, and having discovered they were batarians she had not enacted vengeance for their crimes against humanity. This was the one piece missing from Shepherd's candidacy.

Nihlus gave the nod he had not had cause to give any of the times he had sat through this meeting over the last fifteen years.

Resigned, Ambassador Udina drummed his fingers on the table and said, "I'll make the call."

A representative from one of the governments of Earth, not so easily rejected, said, "Surely there are more suitable candidates? Insubordination, minimal commitment to the Alliance government, and red flags on her psych profile that say she could break if she goes through another Akuze? With respect Spectre, I hope you didn't choose her to fail."

Nihlus's face plates shifted, somehow conveying disgust. "Commander Shepherd seems to have some of the qualities we are looking for. There are no guarantees. She must be evaluated first hand. If I recommend her to the Council, they may still reject her." He looked piercingly at Udina and added, "They may be less likely to accept if they think she is another one of your political games."

"Very well," Udina replied, before his colleague could jeopardise the only chance humanity had. "It's your decision. She will have the full support of the Alliance."


	2. Chapter 1: Rest for the Weary

Thousands of light years away, Commander Emlyn Shepherd was taking a moment for herself. She was stood, in civilian clothes for once, against a barn on the outskirts of a farming colony. The wind was up, the sky was overcast, and she was likely to get wet on her way back, but it was a good day.

Three weeks ago, this fledgling colony had been raided, and its citizens enslaved or killed. Thanks to Shepherd's team of special forces operators, the batarian funded slavers had been tracked to their buyer, a wealthy piece of slime from an alien species called the "Volus". Shepherd had infiltrated the warehouse complex where the colonists were being kept for resale. When they got there, it was obvious the conditions for the prisoners were very short of humane. With some choice obscenities attached to the Volus trader's name, Shepherd briefed her squads and set up the assault.

With knives, suppressors and no small amount of style, every single goon on guard was killed before anyone suspected. The last moment was the best, at least to Shepherd. A gas grenade in the air duct ended the trader's slaving days. Rather than kill him and risk a dead man switch triggering a bomb or worse, the gas was not lethal. The heavy Volus woke up to find himself in the brig of an Alliance ship, now and to the end of his life a prisoner at the mercy of his captors. Justice was rarely sweeter.

Now, if she looked back to the main settlement, Shepherd could see shuttles ferrying the last few dozen colonists back to their homes. An ancient memory tugged at the corners of her mind, and Shepherd glanced at the multi-function projection, or omni-tool, around her wrist hoping someone would call her back to duty; She'd had enough down time. No luck, so she decided on a long hard run.

Three hours, and nearly twenty miles later, her omni-tool finally beeped at her. She stopped, halfway up a hill above the colony, and activated the com circuit. She didn't have the breath to speak just yet, so she just nodded to the captain on his ship's bridge, far above the planet.

"Commander, I thought I told you to enjoy yourself?" he said. "You look like hell."

"Hell, sir?" Shepherd replied. After a gasp for air and a pause to shake the water off her face, she said, "Three hundred and sixteen, sir."

"Three hundred sixteen what?" the captain asked, bemused.

Emlyn shook her head and collapsed back against a tree trunk to shelter from the rain. How did he not get it? She looked back at the image projected from her wrist.

The captain got it then. "You mean the ones who died?"

"People, sir. People who died, not "the ones" who died. Hell is what the survivors have now they are gone." Emlyn looked away from the screen for a moment; this subject was far too close to home, but it was why she was here after all.

"No Commander, hell is what we saved them from. The number you should remember is five hundred and thirty-four, saved."

Shepherd looked back and said with strain in her professional voice, "Did you call with orders, or just to check in?"

The captain frowned. Commander Shepherd had been an enigma for the two years she had operated off his ship. The only sign of humanity he saw in her was her indomitable drive. Nobody worked as hard as Shepherd. Other than that though, he had never seen her be anything other than a soldier, on or off duty. This seemed different. He wasn't sure why, but this victory had affected the special forces commander in front of him enough to crack the polished veneer. Briefly.

"Orders, actually," he said. "Although nothing immediate. My ship's been recalled, and you have a classified package. Dated for opening on our arrival at Arcturus."

For a moment, the captain thought he saw sadness in Shepherd's eyes as she looked out through the downpour at the colony below. Then she just nodded, without looking at him, and said, "Understood sir, I will be at the last pickup rendezvous. Shepherd out."

Alone on the hillside once more, Emlyn suddenly felt tired. Not for the first time, she had to force herself to walk slowly towards duty, and the shuttle rendezvous. That morning, for the first time in six years, she had put in a request for leave. Lately she had wondered what she would do if she weren't at war. Could she walk away and live a normal life? She didn't think so, but the military was changing for her. At the start, and after Akuze, she believed. She had saved thousands of lives; this last colony was not the first she had helped to defend. Now though, belief was giving way to duty. Instead of working because she wanted to, Emlyn knew she now fought because she had to. She kept going because somebody had to protect these people. Who else would, if she didn't? The unseen tear in Emlyn's eye wished for all the world that evil people like this Volus would keep their evil for one another, before it was wiped furiously away and she started running again.

It seemed fate had decided that for one more assignment at least, Emlyn Shepherd must be Commander Shepherd.

Arcturus was the military centre for the Systems Alliance fleet. It was an impressive collection of space stations, guarded by an equally impressive fleet of warships. It was this scene that greeted the single troop ship as it dropped out of FTL next to the Arcturus Prime mass effect relay.

In her cabin, Shepherd's classified package opened for her to read. It contained three documents. First was her official orders for reassignment to a ship called the SSV Normandy, "Captain David Anderson commanding". She was to be the Executive Officer of the new ship. Next was a letter of commendation for her role in saving yet another colony. Finally, there was a private letter from Captain Anderson.

Shepherd had served under Anderson more than once. He seemed to get her promoted up out of his team at the slightest opportunity. It was a running gag between them that he never really liked her.

The last time was on a special op trying to stop Turian extremists who wanted to blow up Vancouver. It had been a ninety-three hour ordeal. She and her partner managed to infiltrate the target building with the extremists and a large number of hostages. To avoid detection getting in, they had left their gear with their squad outside, only for them both to be injured halfway through the mission. Since medigel canisters would have given them away, the best they had were bandages ripped from their clothes. Even so, they killed the hostiles, and Shepherd disarmed the fusion bomb with help from a military tech on her com. If the Systems Alliance hadn't decided to cover it all up for the sake of relations with the Turian Hierarchy, they would both have got medals for it. The other soldier had been Anderson. By then he was a marine on paper only, supposed to stay in the temporary command station and oversee the entire unit. He had wanted to go in alone when they discovered the risks, but the team wouldn't have it. Anderson conceded to taking one tech with him to disarm the bomb. Being both a tech and an expert at stealth operations, Shepherd insisted.

That was Anderson's last combat mission. After Vancouver, he was promoted to an even higher command. His first act in his new role was to put Commander Shepherd into the highest, deadliest combat training the Alliance offered; the N7 program.

After surviving Akuze just one year prior, Shepherd had waltzed through. Her psychologist remarked afterwards to the N7 supervisor at the graduation panel, "I never saw someone so focussed or driven. She won't break so long as she needs to fight, but the moment she thinks that's over, I think – well let's just say she won't be taken alive." She was passed on the spot.

The psychologist had insisted full psychoanalysis on Shepherd be done twice yearly and full medical checks four times yearly; that had been his condition for her graduation. Physical was more than fine of course, if you didn't count the chemical indicators of long term stress and fatigue. Her "psycho exams", as she called them, always passed her for action by a hair, and always demanded she attend therapy. No therapist ever managed to get her to talk though, so they all added notes to her previous diagnoses. According to her file, she suffered from "severe PTSD under control and does not impair her judgement, but is a hindrance to interpersonal relationships", and "Chronic depression evidenced by unchanged, dispassionate emotional state over wide variety of stimuli excepting those which trigger memories relating to prior traumas, in which cases the dispassionate attitudes become aggressive if tested."

All this flashed through Emlyn's inner eye as she opened the file heading for Anderson's letter. "Screw them," she thought, even as she knew they got as much right as they got wrong.

"Dear Shepherd," Anderson wrote. "You'll have read your orders by now so I'll leave the official stuff to the pencil pushers at the admiralty. If I get my estimate right, you'll read this about two days before you report for the new post. Look me up before that if you get a chance, it'll be good to catch up. I hear you've done it again out there, but you'll have to tell me how you got to that volus before he sold or killed the colonists. No doubt it's a hell of a tale.

Make sure you get some rest, too. You'll need it on this one.

See you soon, Shepherd.

Regards,

David Anderson."

Shepherd planned on taking the first day alone to think. Knowing Anderson, she wouldn't have much time for that later. That lasted all of four hours, and she didn't really do much thinking. She dithered over a gift for an ex-comrade, now medically retired after he took a round to the side of his head. Once decided, she noticed she'd spent a month's wages, like that mattered. The only time she needed her wages was mandatory leave, and then she just went to a farm on Earth she had slowly come to think of as home.

She got her name from that farm. When she was sixteen, the Alliance billeted her with her first foster parents. They were ok, in hindsight, but at the time she didn't want a family, so she ran away one night and never looked back. The authorities tracked her down on the other side of the world six months later, sleeping in a farmer's attic, working as a farm hand. It being lambing season, the first of the authorities to see her found her helping the farmer with a difficult delivery. Since Mindoir, she had barely spoken to anyone official except to say her name was Emlyn. There was no Emlyn on Mindoir's records, because Emlyn was what her friends and family called her. She was born as Emily Evelyn Court after her grandmothers. So Emlyn she was, without a surname until that day at the farm. Needing something to fill a field on one of his forms, and not getting any help from Emlyn, the officer had said her name was Emlyn Shepherd, and registered the farmer and his wife as her new guardians under that name.

After ordering the gift, and sending a letter to the farmer to let him know she would not be able to spend the summer there after all, Shepherd decided she didn't want to waste a day on old memories. She called Anderson and set off to meet him in a bar.

He was at the bar when she arrived. He saw her coming, and called out, "Shepherd, good to see you!" He took her hand and shook it warmly. To the bartender he said, "Two on the tab." Then he turned back to Shepherd and said, "Remind me to check your leave requests next time I hand pick a crew, I owe you one. Sorry about that."

"That's ok, I wasn't sure I wanted long leave anyway. So you handpicked me this time huh?"

David Anderson smiled and slid her drink to her. "Sure, why not, you know I'll have to promote you in a month or so anyway. I won't have to put up with you for long."

Shepherd smirked. "Yeah? Careful Anderson, I might just turn you down. They keep trying to make me a captain, and I keep telling them it's a terrible idea; I hate captains."

That made Anderson laugh. "Some of us are tolerable I hope. Besides, I reckon it'll be a cold day in hell before you part with that sniper rifle of yours." He paused and then chuckled again. At Shepherd's quirked eyebrow, he explained, "Just remembering the look on poor Toombs's face when you took that shot on Terra Nova. Gosh, that's years ago. You remember?"

She did, though she had been half a mile away from Toombs's face at the time; that's what had terrified him. A vorcha pirate had somehow sneaked up behind Toombs, and Shepherd put a bullet an inch to the left of the poor man's face, through the vorcha's eye. Through the scope, she had seen Toombs's face go pale, then red as he looked in her direction to make an expletive sign with his fingers.

Toombs was dead now though. All that team was, except Anderson, who had left the team before Akuze, for an assignment he never talked about. Toombs's face was no longer an amusing memory to Shepherd.

Anderson was saying something about good old days. "Speaking of flying though, I hear on the grapevine that you took a shot out of a shuttle moving at three hundred klicks an hour and hit, twice. Don't even try to deny it, one of the old N7s got hold of the vid feed off you suit. Damnit, Shepherd, you've got to stop breaking records like that."

"Officially I wasn't even there, _sir_ , so I doubt there's any record of that shot. Besides, the target was a fuel tank as big as a truck, and we were pretty much moving directly away."

"Is that supposed to make it less impressive? Sometimes I think you just show off."

Shepherd shrugged and took a pull from her drink. That was one of those missions she never understood. They had infiltrated a pirate base, just to wipe a bunch of files off their computers and assassinate the leader. Shepherd had done some of the hack herself; enough to know the files they deleted were evidence that a politician on Earth was paying pirates to target turian ships. If she had her way, she'd have dragged the politician in front of a judge, then blown up the pirates for good measure, but apparently somebody preferred to save face than to face truth. She'd made those shots out of frustration. She had been forced to cover up the sort of crimes she despised most. At least that fuel tank had taken a couple of nearby shuttles with it. Maybe that would be the difference for an innocent cargo vessel in the future.

Anderson's mood seemed to have gone serious. He was talking. "Lost you there for a minute. Old ghosts?"

"I'm fine," Shepherd replied. Inside her, Emlyn knew it was the only acceptable answer; no superior officer wanted to hear a soldiers' troubles, they just wanted to show they "understood." To be fair, Anderson probably did get it more than most. Shepherd told her inner self to stop bothering her. Over the years, Commander Shepherd's voice had learned to shut Emlyn up. She noticed the silence and said, "Tell me we're going to do some good on this one Anderson. I'm sick of getting pulled off the important missions to be a thug with a gun for some political game."

"You know how I work Shepherd. If I can do the right thing, I do."

"That's pretty close to a no, Anderson. Do I really want to accept this assignment? I will, of course. I owe you." With a frown at the now visible bottom of her pint glass, Emlyn said, "If it's some diplomat's dirty work I might not owe you for long, however." Shepherd roared at herself internally, but it was a professional voice that Anderson heard saying, "Sorry. You know what I mean. I do what I have to, but it's nice when orders are actually about saving lives. It's what I signed up for, after all."

Anderson looked carefully at his younger friend. The average onlooker might have seen a reasonably good looking, strong, and confident woman. She stood at six feet tall, and carried herself with a fluid ease that hinted at her wiry strength and combat experience. Anderson was no average onlooker though. He'd worked around Shepherd on and off for nine years. She had a single faded scar she'd had long before Anderson knew her, and to him right then, it seemed her deeper scars were showing too. She was jaded, more so than usual.

"We'll do our best," he told her. "You sure you're up for this Shepherd? I mean, I can't really claim any favours owed after the number of times you saved my ass back in the day. The Alliance owes you a break. There's another soldier at Arcturus I could take. He's not you, not by a long shot, if you'll excuse the expression, but he'll fill the hole while you take your leave. No hard feelings, you've earned that much."

Shepherd cursed Emlyn for letting him see. She replied, "I'm fine, Anderson. Really. I'm tired, that's all. I've been writing reports all the way back to Arcturus. Top brass have been on my ass about some of the "risks" we took last time out." She quirked a smile at him and added, "At least as your XO I get to let you deal with the brass."

Anderson, as usual, let the matter drop. He felt guilty about it sometimes, but like the N7 supervisor all those years ago, he needed Shepherd's skills and drive. Or rather, he reckoned humanity needed them.

They swapped stories about their latest assignments, minus place names and anything else a not so casual listener could exploit. Anderson had become Admiral Hackett's aide and advisor for special forces deployment, although apparently that mostly meant dealing with politicians who were upset by the overuse, or underuse of military force in their constituencies. He missed the old days. Reading between the lines, Shepherd realised Hackett had promoted Anderson to general in all but rank, and from one or two of his stories, he'd even liaised with the Council on some deployments.

Eventually, the night became not so young, and they went to their respective quarters, both knowing that whatever was in store it was going to be big.

Shepherd didn't sleep much that night. The nightmares didn't bother her much anymore, but she woke up in a cold sweat with the faces of the fallen at Mindoir. She had been forced to play dead next to three of her friends while a Batarian lowlife looted them. She had killed him with his own knife; her first kill. It wasn't the kill or the echo of tight fear in her chest that haunted Emlyn; it was the faces of her friends.

Shepherd knew she would not sleep again tonight, and if she took a sleep pill now she wouldn't be fit to face the morning, so she dressed and set off for a run. She thought as she ran. She was tired, that was sure. Physically, she'd not had more than two consecutive days of down time for well over a year. That probably explained her moodiness and her dreams. At around 4am, Emlyn decided what she'd known already; the faces of her friends demanded it.

At 4:30am, Commander Emlyn Shepherd logged into a long firing range.


	3. Chapter 2: Secrets and Games

Precisely on the minute given in her orders, Commander Shepherd reported for duty at the dock where the SSV Normandy was berthed. It was immediately clear this assignment was nothing ordinary; there was almost nothing ordinary about the new ship's lines. Just behind her another man, a marine for sure, signed in as Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko.

Anderson was running late, so Alenko approached Shepherd with an extended hand. Shephed shook it. He was quietly spoken, seemed almost cultured the way he spoke, except there was an intensity to him that might put some people on edge.

"I take it you're the new XO?" he asked, nodding to Shepherd's rank insignia.

Shepherd nodded back, "That's right. Have you served with Anderson before?"

"Can't say I have, actually, although from what I hear he's tough, but a good leader. Someone said he was worth every medal on his uniform. Why, have you?"

"Yes," Shepherd replied with a smirk. "Sounds like you got a good description from someone. Just wait until he cracks one of his jokes though; you might not be so keen."

Anderson walked out of the docking tunnel with a young, over eager, and over worked pencil pusher carrying an arm full of data pads. Passing the last manifest to the dock clerk, Anderson turned towards the pair of marines nearby.

"Good to see you both," he said. "I take it you've introduced yourselves?"

After brief pleasantries and a tour of the remarkable ship, Anderson put Shepherd in charge of arranging a duty roster for the crew, some of whom were still arriving from shore leave. Alenko was told to get familiar with the tactical station in the cockpit, since their tactical officer was in the med bay having turned up for duty with a hangover, and the other wasn't due to arrive until after the shakedown run. Shepherd did not want to be a fly on the wall when Anderson got the time to roast that poor officer.

It was mid-afternoon when a heavily armed turian arrived on the dock. Captain Anderson was with the master of the dock getting last minute issues dealt with so they could leave at 5pm. A crewman radioed Shepherd from the airlock, asking what to do with the turian, and saying he claimed to be a Spectre.

Shepherd went straight there. Apparently the turian knew her, because when he saw her he said, "Ah, Commander Shepherd, perhaps you can inform your crewman what a Spectre is? He seems to think I'm not cleared to board."

She frowned and replied, "You're not, officially. Though it would be my ass officially in lockup if I refused you. Spectre operatives do not have limitless clearance, just unconditional backing from the Citadel Council."

"Are you saying your ship is outside the Council's jurisdiction?"

"No, just outside of yours." Shepherd's voice was crisp now. "Unless the contents or occupants of this _military_ vessel are part of your mission. When you're through playing space lawyer, perhaps you will let me verify your ID, and tell me what you want with Normandy?"

Nihlus handed over his Spectre ID and asked for Captain Anderson. A quick check authenticated the ID, so Shepherd informed him Captain Anderson was due to return within the hour. Nihlus waited expectantly, but Shepherd just held position in front of the airlock access controls, watching him intently. After a moment, Nihlus got the hint and left.

Kaidan gave a soft whistle from behind her. "A Spectre huh? Anderson said this was a special assignment."

Shepherd said nothing. Why had a Spectre just walked away like that? It made no sense. Either he was here for the mission, in which case why not tell her so she could confirm with Anderson, or he needed something else, in which case why not call her legal bluff? Something was off, but she couldn't tell what. Plus, she was sure she'd seen this turian more than once around the station, which was odd, given how big the station was. She pinged Anderson with a warning message about a turian Spectre looking for him and got on with pre-launch routine.

Being a soldier she was no engineer on the level of Chief Engineer Adams, so she told him to make sure every last circuit was working at its best, and left him to it. The Normandy had done short test flights with a skeleton crew, so most people here knew their way around and those who didn't had direct superiors who did.

Shepherd spent the time, between taking status updates, going over the dossers on her subordinates.

Alenko was a biotic, with a sealed file dated to his last year at Jump Zero, the alliance's biotic training facility. She left it sealed. Anderson had handpicked this guy. Either Alenko or Anderson would give her the story if she ever needed it. Until then, it was Alenko's life, and everything else said he was a highly capable soldier.

The youngest was Jenkins. He was a misfit for the veterans though. His chief skill was close quarters combat. Reading down the list of his ratings in more than a few martial arts, Shepherd was pretty sure he would have her beaten in the ring. Martial arts didn't make a special forces soldier though. Neither did his marksmanship scores. The dossier reeked the sort of raw, green talent that had to be ground into usable experience for a few years in the trenches before it was ready for outfits like this.

The intercom announced Captain Anderson arriving, and relieved her of command. Right on its heels, the deck plate hummed to announce the ship was about to leave. Her com beeped, and Anderson told her, "Commander, get your team familiar with our armoury, make sure everything is ready. We'll be arriving at Eden Prime in about three hours."

"Yes, sir," she said.

Two hours later, she headed back up through the ship to the bridge. The pilot's voice started talking through the approach to the mass relay on the intercom.

"The Arcturus Prime relay is in range, Initiating transmission sequence."

Jenkins, who had seemed more interested in chatting up Sub-Lieutenant Granger on the bridge than checking weapons, acknowledged her as she walked past. No doubt he had finally remembered he left his precious leather jacket in the armoury. Navigator Presley, an old hand on spec ops ships so a familiar face, nodded to her as she went on towards the bridge.

The pilot said over intercom, "We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination." He paused for a moment while he ran the numbers through the computer, then continued, "The relay is hot. Acquiring approach vector. All stations secure for transit."

Shepherd stepped passed one of her marines, one Second-Lieutenant Summers, who was loitering outside the cockpit, noticing with annoyance that Nihlus was there already. A quick scan of the readouts on the overhead told her the pilot had them all perfectly on the optimum line, as he announced, "The board is green. Approach run has begun."

The relay went from large to gargantuan on the external view screens, and the pilot said, "Hitting the relay in 3… 2… 1…"

Shortly, they dropped out of the relay system at the edge of a star system hundreds of lightyears from Arcturus. The pilot ran through his checks out loud for the sake of the flight report, "Thrusters… check. Navigation… check. Internal emissions sink engaged, All systems online. Drift… just under fifteen hundred k."

Shepherd raised an eyebrow. Most ships, or most pilots, she wasn't sure which, reported a drift of well over four thousand k.

Evidently the Spectre was also impressed, because as he turned to leave, he remarked, "Fifteen hundred is good. Your captain will be pleased."

The pilot glanced over at Kaidan, who was helping to monitor external sensors for threats, and said, "I hate that guy."

Kaidan was not impressed, and showed it when he replied, "Nihlus gave you a complement, so… you hate him?"

"You remember to zip up your jump suit on your way out of the bathroom? That's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. So that's incredible!"

Shepherd wondered where this was going.

The pilot continued, "Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid."

Of course Kaidan couldn't resist, so fell for it, saying, "You're paranoid. The Council helped fund this project. They have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment."

"Yeah, that is the official story," the pilot said in a bored voice. "But only an idiot believes the official story."

That, Shepherd could second, having been the secret truth covered up by "official stories" more than a few times herself. "They don't send Spectres on shakedown runs," she agreed.

The pilot looked back at Kaidan and told him, in an educational tone, "So there's more going on here than the captain's letting on."

Fortunately, before he could get too enthusiastic, the com beeped, and Anderson's disembodied voice called him by his name, "Joker! Status report."

The pilot, who Shepherd now knew was called Joker, replied, "Just cleared the mass relay, Captain. Stealth systems engaged. Everything looks solid."

"Good. Find a com buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to the Alliance bras before we reach Eden Prime." Obviously Anderson wanted to keep Joker busy.

"Aye, aye, Captain," Joker said. "Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is headed your way." Shepherd winced.

Anderson's voice went hard when he replied, "He's already here, Lieutenant. Tell Commander Shepherd to meet me in the com room for a debriefing."

Joker inclined his head back to Shepherd to say, "You get that Commander?"

Knowing Anderson, his cross voice was mostly reserved for severe mistakes, or tense situations. "He sounds angry," she said as she turned about. "Something must have gone wrong with the mission."

She heard Joker snort and say, "Captain always sounds like that when he's talking to me."

Kaidan let disgust into his voice as Shepherd walked away "Can't possibly imagine why," was what Shepherd thought she heard him say.

As if the evening couldn't get any tenser, Shepherd overheard Navigator Pressly expressing unsavoury doubts in his orders to a friend in engineering. Not willing to let it slide, she was XO after all, Shepherd confronted him about it.

Before she could start though, he shut off the com and saluted her. "Congratulations Commander, looks like we had a smooth run. You heading down to see the captain?"

Unperturbed, Shepherd noted, "Sounds like you don't trust our turian guest."

Pressly back peddled hard. "Sorry, Commander. Just having a chat with Adams down in engineering. Didn't mean to cause any trouble." He was a stubborn old man though, so after a hesitation, he continued, "But, you have to admit, something's odd about this mission. The whole crew feels it."

Shepherd tested him. "You think the Alliance brass is holding out on us?"

He was wise to that sort of thing though, else he wouldn't be on this ship, so he ignored her and said his own thing. "If all we're supposed to do is test out the stealth system, why is Captain Anderson in charge? And then there's Nihlus. Spectres are elite operatives. Top covert operatives. Why send a Spectre – a turian Spectre – on a shakedown run? It doesn't add up."

The alien seemed to be the crux, so Shepherd pushed there, more and more convinced Pressly was simply worried, rather than resentful. "You don't trust Nihlus," Shepherd observed, hoping to prod more out of the old timer.

"I don't like turians in general. Runs in the family. My grandfather fought in the First Contact War; lost a lot of friends when the turians hit us."

"That was thirty years ago. You can't blame Nihlus for that," said Shepherd, who was all too familiar with this particular grudge.

"No, I guess not, but it still makes me nervous having a Spectre on board. Especially a turian. We're an Alliance vessel, human military. Nihlus doesn't answer to the captain like the rest of us. Spectres operate outside the normal chain of command. And they don't come along just to observe shakedown runs. Nihlus looks like he's expecting some heavy action. I don't like it."

Shepherd resisted the urge to shake her head, and extracted herself. Even before the com room, Jenkins and Dr. Chakwas were talking about the same thing. Pressly had read the mood well. Jenkins obviously thought of Spectres as heroes without ethics, but Chakwas was doing a good enough job dismissing it all. Shepherd was about to walk by when Jenkins called out, "What do you think Commander? We won't be staying on Eden Prime too long, will we? I'm itching for some real action!"

Chakwas sternly voiced Shepherd's concerns, "I sincerely hope you're kidding Corporal. Your 'real action' usually ends with me patching up crew members in the infirmary."

Shepherd added the weight of her command to the rebuke. "You need to calm down, Corporal. A good soldier stays cool, even under fire." Emlyn wondered if she was being too severe. Mostly though, Emlyn wished she could send the boy home, and prayed she could keep him alive long enough to do so.

Jenkins was talking. Had she missed something while she was feeling emotional again? He said something about the mission being exciting, and it was her turn to speak again. "Just treat this like every other assignment you've had and everything will work out," she told him.

"Easy for you to say," he told her in the admiring tones she had grown to detest. "You proved yourself on Akuze. Everybody knows what you can do. This is my big chance. I need to show the brass what I can do!"

Still cross with herself, Shepherd's tone wasn't what she intended, but her words were. "You're young Corporal. You've got a long career ahead of you. Don't do something stupid to mess it up." In Shepherd's experience, heroes were just ordinary people doing their jobs, but too many kids in the army thought heroic meant blind to danger.

"Don't worry ma'am," Jenkins quickly assured her. "I'm not going to screw this up." Why did he give her the impression this was too important for him? She swore she'd look closer at his file as soon as she had time.

Right now though, she had to get to the com room. Nihlus was waiting for her. Alone. He turned as she entered and greeted her. "Commander Shepherd. I was hoping you'd get here first. It will give us a chance to talk."

"What about?" she asked, warily. She realised this was the first time they'd spoken since the dock at Arcturus, even though he seemed to be hovering somewhere close ever since he came aboard.

"I'm interested in this world we're going to, Eden Prime. I've heard it's quite beautiful."

Still on high alert, Shephred said, "They say it's a paradise."

"Yes, a paradise. Serene, tranquil, safe. Eden Prime has become something of a symbol for your people, hasn't it? Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy, but also protect them. But how safe is it really?"

Shepherd's gut tightened. She stepped forward, not bothering to hide the fact her body was instinctively preparing itself for action. "Do you know something?"

He wasn't fazed by her of course, and he just repeated his question. "Your people are still newcomers Shepherd. The galaxy can be a very dangerous place. Is the Alliance truly ready for this?"

Anderson arrived, and said, "I think it's about time we told the commander what's really going on."

Nihlus confirmed the crew's impressions. "This mission is far more than a simple shakedown run."

Bored of rhetoric, Shepherd turned to Anerson, "Is someone going to fill me in, Captain?"

"We're making a covert pickup on Eden Prime. That's why we needed the stealth systems operational."

"There must be a reason you didn't tell me about this, sir?" Of course there was, but it was nice to know the reason you commanding officers kept you in the dark.

"This comes down from the top, Commander. Information on a strictly need to know basis. A research team on Eden Prime unearthed some kind of beacon during an excavation. It was prothean."

That, Shepherd had to admit to herself, was a pretty good excuse. Shepherd switched on, now it seemed she would finally be briefed. "What else can you tell me?"

"This is big Shepherd. The last time humanity made a discovery like this, it jumped our technology forward two hundred years. But Edne Prime doesn't have the facilities to handle something like this. We need to bring the beacon back to the Citadel for proper study."

Nihlus chimed in too. "Obviously this goes beyond mere human interests, Commander. This discovery could affect every species in Council space."

Shepherd realised the pause was for her response, so she tried to be diplomatic, even if she wondered why humanity would share such a discovery so quickly with the Council. "It never hurts to have a few extra hands on board," she said.

"The beacon's not the only reason I'm here, Shepherd."

Question marks started appearing again in Shepherd's head, and Anderson only added one when he said, "Nihlus wants to see you in action, Commander. He's here to evaluate you."

"What's going on, Captain?"

Instead of answering her directly, he started one of his little monologues. "The Alliance has been pushing for this for a long time. Humanity wants a larger role in shaping interstellar policy. We want more say with the Citadel Council. The Spectres represent the Council's power and authority. If they accept a human into their ranks, it shows how far the Alliance has come."

While Nihlus made some mention of Akuze, Shepherd tamped down on her frustration. If Anderson had told her about this earlier, she would have just told him where he and the Alliance could shove their power grab and be well on her way to a summer of farm work and the few honest friends she had who couldn't care less how famous she was.

Something Nihlus said caught her attention. "That's why I put your name forward as a candidate for the Spectres," he said.

"Who gave you the right?" she wanted to ask. Instead she just said, "Why would a turian want a human in the Spectres?"

"Not all turians resent humanity," Nihlus told her, patiently. "Some of us see the potential of your species. We see what you have to offer the rest of the galaxy… and to the Spectres. We are an elite group. It's rare to find an individual with the skills we seek. I don't care that you're human, Shepherd. I only care that you can do the job."

This was getting too much. To think, she had been considering retirement last week. She told them what she thought, "I don't like people making decisions about _my_ future."

Anderson clamped down on her like a ton of bricks. "This isn't about you, Shepherd. Humanity needs this. We're counting on you." Emlyn wondered if he knew how annoying it was when he pushed the duty button like that.

Nihlus seemed to think it was a foregone conclusion, talking about doing several missions with her, but then he would dismiss the idea of rejection; he was a turian. He was drilled through his youth to serve at the leisure of his community.

Anderson also seemed to think he could ignore her reservations, because he just skipped straight to the current mission. "You'll be in charge of the ground team. Secure the beacon and get it onto the ship ASAP. Nihlus will accompany you to observe the mission."

Unhappy, but still under his command, Shepherd replied, "Just give the word, Captain."

"We should be getting close to Eden…"

Joker's voice cut through the conversation. "Captain! We got a problem."

"What's wrong, Joker?"

"Transmission from Eden Prime, sir. You better see this!"

"Bring it up on screen." The three of them stepped toward the big display at the back of the room.

Marines were in combat, shots whipping around them. By the sound of it, they were plasma or energy weapons, rare. The soldier carrying the camera must have been hit, because the view span. It looked like the enemy was present in overwhelming numbers. The view rocked around a bit as the wounded man was pulled to cover, then a marine's face came in focus, shouting over the gunfire. "We are under attack! Taking heavy casualties. I repeat: heavy casualties! We can't…" grenades went off nearby, making the marine waver. The signal started breaking up. "-eed evac! They came out of nowhere. We need…" Whatever they needed, the marine never said. His body was thrown aside, by what was unclear. The soldier holding the camera twisted it around, showing the battle, the horrified soldiers, and a massive ship descending out of the sky over the colony. Then it went blank. Emlyn Shepherd wondered how many of the soldiers in that battle had made it out alive, and whether they would be grateful or not if they had.

Joker said, "Everything cuts out after that. No coms traffic at all. Just goes dead. There's nothing."

Anderson barked an order. "Reverse, and hold at thirty eight point five." The screen jumped to the image of the ship. Unlike any design shepherd knew, it dwarfed the tallest building in the colony.

Anderson, Nihlus and Shepherd, seasoned soldiers all, paused to take in how dangerous their day had just become.

Anderson was the first to speak. In the raised voice still used by humans for coms, regardless of the quality of the equipment. Anderson demanded, "Status report!"

Joker answered, "Seventeen minutes out, Captain. No other Alliance ships in the area."

"Take us in Joker, fast and quiet." With a glance at Nihlus, he added, "This mission just got a lot more complicated."

"A small strike team can move quickly without drawing attention. It's our best chance to secure the beacon," Nihlus said.

If Shepherd could have hit them both, she would have. Did neither of them even think about the civilians down there?

Anderson used his command voice on him. "Grab your gear and meet us in the cargo hold."

Once he was gone, Anderson turned to Shepherd with a quieter voice and said, "Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up, Commander. You're going in."

"Jenkins?" Emlyn thought. Anderson was in combat mode though, now was no time to question him. Why had he not chosen Summers? Summers was three years wiser. He didn't have the big medal for rescuing a squaddie from a burning ground transport, but in every other way that counted, Summers was the steadier choice.

On the drop deck, Shepherd waited for Anderson's go, no go.

"Your team's the muscle in this operation, Commander. Go in heavy and head straight for the dig site."

Alenko asked the question on Shepherd's lips, "What about survivors, Captain?"

Anderson told them, "Helping survivors is a secondary objective. The beacon's your top priority."

Joker called the approach to the first drop point, and Nihlus stepped out of the shadows.

Jenkins caught sight, and perhaps hopefully, asked, "Nihlus, you're coming with us?"

His hopes were dashed when Nihlus replied without even looking at him, "I move faster on my own."

Anderson briefed them on the sketchy plan he'd drawn up while they suited up. "Nihlus will scout out ahead. He'll feed you status reports throughout the mission; otherwise, I want radio silence.

All else but the battle in hand now behind her, Shepherd said, "Ready and able, sir."

"The mission's yours now, Shepherd. Good luck."


	4. Chapter 3: Change of Plans

On Joker's signal, Shepherd and her team jumped from the end of the ramp and landed hard, glad for the actuators in their armour that softened the blow on their legs. Shepherd led the team down toward a long rocky slope. Something felt off, but with so much cover, and a very tight timeline, she waved them forward.

Emlyn never forgot what happened next. Jenkins pushed forward, but instead of staying low, he just moved straight across the centre of the path before he checked it was clear, and when a couple of hover drones appeared out of nowhere up the slope, he hesitated a fraction too long in the open. Even as they focussed down his shields and riddled him with plasma charges, Shepherd raced to cover so she could take them down, but the couple of seconds that took were too long for Jenkins. When Shepherd looked back, he lay motionless, with seared holes in his body where his armour had failed.

Kaidan closed Jenkin's empty eyes, and said, "Ripped right through his shields. Never had a chance." The look in Kaidan's eyes said he felt the same way Shepherd did. Never had a chance meant he shouldn't have been on the mission. Not the soldier's fault; the commander's fault. Unlike Shepherd though, Kaidan didn't seem to have put it to the back of his mind for later.

Shepherd reassured him, "We'll see that he receives a proper service once the mission is complete. But I need you to stay focused."

His voice carried weight as he gave the proper response, "Aye, aye, ma'am." He fell in behind as she led the way up the slope.

Nihlus's voice came on coms. "I've got some burned out buildings here, Shepherd. A lot of bodies. I'm going to check it out. I'll try to catch up with you at the dig site."

He was going off mission, but Shepherd blessed him for it. At least somebody here was interested in the colonists. Maybe she had been too quick to judge.

Just over the hill, a lone soldier was fleeing two more of the drones. Unlike Jenkins though, she knew what she was doing. Both drones went down, even if it was a close call. Just off to one side, were two mechs, odd ones at that, and they were arranging a colonist over a machine. As Shepherd dropped her assault rifle and pulled out her sniper, a long metal spike crushed up through the poor man's back, impaling him high in the air. Then the mechs turned to follow the lone soldier, who raced for cover. Shepherd levelled her rifle where she stood and fired two rounds as fast as her rifle would fire them. One for each mech. Both collapsed in a small shower of sparks.

The bewildered soldier pulled herself back to her feet as Shepherd and Alenko walked down the slope. She called out to them as the approached, "Thanks for the assist, commander. I didn't think I was going to make it." When they reached her, she gave her name. "Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212. You the one in charge here ma'am?"

Ignoring protocol, since nobody superior was around, Shepherd asked her, "Are you wounded, Williams?"

"A few scrapes and burns. Nothing serious. The others weren't so lucky." Shepherd saw her eyes drift to memories, and she knew what the poor woman was seeing. Credit where it was due though, she still gave her report. "Oh, man… We were patrolling the perimeter when the attack hit. We tried to get off a distress call, but they cut off our communications. I've been fighting for my life ever since."

Sad that she thought she knew the answer, but also knowing she had to check, Shepherd asked her, "Where's the rest of your squad?"

Adrenaline was keeping Williams from breaking down, Shepherd knew. She told them, "We tried to double back to the beacon, but we walked into an ambush. I don't think any of the others… I think I'm the only one left."

"This isn't your fault, Williams. You couldn't have done anything to save them."

"Yes ma'am." Shepherd nearly kicked herself when Ashley ploughed through the attempt to allay her distress. All this poor soldier wanted to do was honour her friends, not move on. "We held our position as long as we could, until the geth overwhelmed us."

Alenko was more interested in what she said about the attackers though. "The geth haven't been seen outside the Veil in nearly 200 years. Why are they here now?"

"Duh," Emlyn thought to herself, as Ashley shrugged.

"They must have come for the beacon," Williams guessed. "The dig site is close, just over that rise. It might still be there."

Shepherd considered calling evac for Williams, but she could lose more than Williams if that went wrong. The exhausted soldier would be safest with her, dangerous as the mission was; the geth would eventually find and kill her if she stayed alone. That thought decided her, so she said, "We could use your help, Williams."

Williams nodded grimly and said, "Aye, aye ma'am. It's time for payback."

The dig site was bare, but Williams thought she knew where the scientists were hiding. As they set off up the hill, Nihlus reported in again. "Change of plans, Shepherd. There's a small spaceport up ahead. I'm want to check it out. I'll wait for you there."

Up in the camp, nothing moved. Bullet holes riddled some of the rocks. Over to one side, three of those spikes held decimated corpses aloft. Perhaps triggered by some remote sensor, the spikes lowered, and as they did, the corpses twitched.

Kaidan's shock matched Ashley's gasp of horror, but Shepherd slowly switched to her pistol. If these colonists could be saved, no matter how gruesome their condition, she would do no more than defend herself.

There were electronics running through their deadened flesh, and round the hole in their chests.

Ashely said something in dismay. Then the dead started running at the team.

Sick to her stomach, Shepherd dropped to one knee and aimed for their legs, but they were shielded, and the other two were not careful with their aim. Shepherd's target stumbled as the other two withered under Ashley's gun and Kaidan's biotics. It pulled itself forward on its arms, just once, then exploded in a burst of high voltage discharge. Shepherd took a single, shaky deep breath to steel herself against whatever other nightmares this mission could concoct.

A quick glance around the burning camp told her at least somebody was still here. One of the prefab units was locked, from the inside. Ashley noticed it too, and pointed it out.

Locks like these were child's play after the systems Shepherd had hacked into. It was open in a moment, and the stepped into the dark interior.

Two understandably frightened scientists were huddled in the back corner, but they got up when they saw who had come in. One of them was delusional, babbling something about imminent destruction, but was composed enough to tell them the beacon had been taken by the geth to the spaceport. Tagging the location on her HUD and setting it to ping Normandy with an update as soon as she opened coms again, Shepherd moved on.

The spaceport was close, close enough that the single shot that sounded from over the ridge had to have been right in the spaceport itself. Knowing Nihlus was there, Shepherd picked up the pace. Through her scope from the ridge, she could see geth moving in the spaceport, but that shot was a pistol shot, and she hadn't seen the geth carry anything but those plasma rifles of theirs, so far. Nihlus must be down there somewhere.

To give him a distraction, she waved the other two forward and took up position at the top of the road, looking down over the spaceport. She was about to fire on the geth, when she noticed a stray fuel canister in front of them. Just as they passed it, she put a single incendiary round through it. All three geth were thrown apart, lifeless as tangled coils of wire. There were more of those spikes though.

Ashley and Kaidan had rushed together behind a large rock to lay down fire on the spaceport. One of the mangled colonists was running at them from behind. Without time to warn them, Shepherd's trigger finger squeezed and her rifle moved in her arms before she realised she had just shot somebody's brother, or sister, it was impossible to tell with how ravaged these corpses were. Bile reached the back of her mouth as the now headless corpse dropped, and two more came running. Ashley stepped out and poured fire down the slope at them, and Kaidan smashed one backwards hard enough the front side of its head got briefly stuck on a rock face by the red mass that used to be its brain. The last staggered, then fell, then exploded under the weight of rounds spitting from Ashley's assault rifle.

Emlyn Shepherd removed her helmet to puke in the grass next to her. Marines dying around her was one thing, watching friends screaming while their skin and flesh and bone was melted from the inside by thresher maw acid was another, but for all her nightmares, Shepherd had never, until today, deliberately pulled her trigger on a civilian.

It didn't matter now though. If they didn't stop the geth, a lot more people would wind up like this. Shepherd wiped her mouth with a handful of grass and spat the taste out of her mouth as she picked her helmet back up. "That was one step way too far," the soldier in Emlyn Shepherd said to herself. "You're tougher than this." Fortunately, neither of the others had seen her lapse, and fingers crossed it would be Anderson monitoring her suit readouts; he'd keep it to himself. Kaidan said there was another locked prefab.

The people in there were terrified. Terrified smugglers, caught out by the attack, but at least they gave up their stash to help them on their way. Shepherd told them to stay put, and added their location to her HUD for upload. If this mission was quick enough, these people might survive.

In the spaceport, the explanation for the single shot became clear. Somebody had shot Nihlus, in the back of the head. Why his shields were down, Shepherd did not know. Just as she was about to kneel and make sure the enemy hadn't got a hold of Nihlus's com gear, a sound behind some crates made all three of them jump. Three highly trained, heavily armed soldiers aimed their side arms square at the shaking man as he stood up from behind the crates.

He begged them not to shoot, and Shepherd yelled at him, "Sneaking up on us like that nearly got you killed." It took her longer than it should have to lower her gun. She realised she had been shouting at herself for nearly pulling the trigger. Those walking dead had shaken her more than she thought.

"…I saw what happened to that turian," the man was saying. "The other one shot him."

With an effort to calm herself, Shepherd said, "I need to know how Nihlus died."

"The other one got here first," the dock worker told them. "He was waiting when your friend showed up. He called him Saren. I think they knew each other. Your friend seemed to relax. He let his guard down… and Saren killed him… Shot him right in the back. I'm just lucky he didn't see me behind the crates."

"Where'd Saren go after he killed Nihlus?"

"He jumped on the train and headed over to the other platform. Probably going after the beacon."

Shepherd thanked him and left, not sure she trusted herself to speak. The geth would be on their way, this Saren would not want anyone to find Nihlus's body. Sure enough, a whole troop of geth was running towards them up the train station. Thanking her lucky stars for the dividers along the length of the platform, meant to separate the loads for each carriage, Shepherd once again pulled out her sniper rifle and levelled it at the enemy while Ashley and Kaidan dashed for cover further up. One of these geth was huge, at least seven feet tall. It was dumb as a dormouse though, just running straight up the platform. One shot for its shields, another for the cluster of sensors on its head, and it went down. Ashley was proving herself to be quite the shot with her assault rifle too, picking off a target or two as she moved from cover to cover. Kaidan seemed to focus on his biotics and tech grenades, but a tech grenade on a volatile piece of cargo killed more geth than Shepherd or Ashley could manage so quickly.

One train ride later, and Shepherd realised just how ruthless this Saren was. Kaidan spotted it first. "Demolision charges," he called out, "The geth must have planted them."

Working together, he and Shepherd disarmed it quickly, but from the inside, this bomb was scarier than it looked. A few of these could take out the reactor at the heart of the spaceport, and if that blew… She raced up the steps to space port launch platform.

She was in free flow now, moving fast. Everything apart from the targets and whatever obstacles protected them from her, ceased to exist. Sidestepping quickly across the gantry, she threw a short burst the length of the launch area, nailing a geth at the far end, then rolled under a returned burst from somewhere closer. From her new cover, six rounds to the face dropped the nearest enemy, and she was moving again, passed two more charges while Kaidan went to disarm one of them. Ashley's gun roared out at targets behind her, then suddenly the last one fell with a dull metal clunk, and she was kneeling in front of a bomb at the end of the launch platform. Kaidan reported one device disarmed. Then she joined Ashley to cover him while he finished the last one. Thank goodness for arrogant snots like this Saren; he'd not bothered to protect the bomb's triggers at all. If he had, it would have been game over.

Down below, on the storage area, just a handful of geth were left. Along with something that must be the prothean device all this fuss was about. If only it had never been found. Two more dead colonists screamed as they were leased from the spikes to run at the group. This time Shepherd blew off their legs before they could get close, and ran over to get a good look. She couldn't know. She saw nothing but technology and the remnants of a dead teenage boy. Was he in there, in pain? One bullet through the head stopped its scream. Was it mercy? Or was there nothing left but the technological monster that had hijacked his corpse? Either way, she really badly wanted to wretch her guts out and scream.

She stood and looked away from it all for a moment. She flicked on her radio and called in success, though she didn't feel successful. "Normandy, the beacon is secure. Request pick up at my location. I have marked two locations for extraction teams, there are civilian survivors in the combat zone. Request permission to extract them once we have the package on board."

Anderson's voice sounded in her ear, saying, "Understood Commander, Normandy is en route. We'll send local forces to secure the civilians. Job well done, Commander. We'll pick you up shortly."

"Local forces are gone, sir."

"I'll send word to the authorities here, they'll be able to get their people out now the geth are gone."

Emlyn's tired eyes threatened to fog with tears as she made the mistake of looking at the mutilated boy lying on the ground a few yards away. She wiped them quickly away and said, "Roger, Normandy. Standing by."

Ashley came up behind her, apparently relaxed, probably relieved her ordeal was over. Shepherd turned to say something to her. Over Ashley's shoulder, she saw Kaidan struggling against an unseen force from the beacon. Instinct propelled her. With a leap to plant herself on the ground, she hurled him clear, only to get caught herself.

Something hurt in the back of her head, foreign thoughts overwhelmed her awareness. Images flashed through her inner eye too quickly to be seen, but slowly enough to leave their mark. Blood and machines, guns and a fierce fire, noise like a hurricane wind, all crowding into her brain, and each time she tried to shut them out, they just came faster. Then everything went black.

There was light, then movement, and she sat up. Somehow she wasn't wearing armour any more. She was in medbay and people were talking, someone was coming.

The dactor spoke to her kindly. "You had us worried there, Shepherd. How are you feeling?

Shepherd answered. "Minor throbbing, nothing serious. How long was I out?" She wondered why it had taken so long to get her bearings.

The doctor, whose name tag read "Chakwas", said, "About fifteen hours. Something happened down there with the beacon, I think."

Kaidan stepped forward from behind her and told her in an apologetic voice, "It's my fault. I must have triggered some kind of security field when I approached it. You had to push me out of the way."

No, it wasn't his fault; any commander should know marines needed supervising around tech they didn't understand. "You had no way to know what would happen."

Kaidan's face showed his gratitude.

"Actually we don't even know if that's what set it off," Doctor Chakwas said. "Unfortunately, we'll never get the chance to find out."

Kaidan explained, "The beacon exploded. A system overload maybe. The blast knocked you cold. Williams and I had to carry you back here to the ship."

Nice, having to be stretchered off on her first mission with these guys. All she said was, "I appreciate it."

Chakwas brought the conversation back to the facts. "Physically your fine. But I detected some unusual brain activity, abnormal beta waves. I also noticed an increase in your rapid eye movement, signs typically associated with intense dreaming.

Now Shepherd remembered what had kept her mind so foggy, or at least she remembered bits of it. "I saw… I'm not sure what I saw. Death. Destruction. Nothing's really clear."

The doctor rubbed her chin, clearly not sure what to make of it, or maybe she thought the psycho had finally cracked. She said, "Hmm, I better add this to my report. It may – Oh, Captain Anderson."

"How's our XO holding up, Doctor?" Anderson asked as he walked down the room.

Shepherd prayed she wouldn't mention the stuff about her dream. "All the readings look normal," Chakwas said. "I'd say the commander's going to be fine."

"Thank you," she mouthed to the doc.

"Glad to hear it." Anderson's voice started to take on his command tones when he said, "Shepherd, I need to speak with you – in private."

Kaidan got the hint and saluted. "Aye, aye, Captain. I'll be in the mess if you need me."

When they were alone, Anderson's tone went back to that of a friend. "Sounds like that beacon hit you pretty hard, Commander. You sure you're okay?"

Shepherd hesitated, but she told him what was on her mind. "I don't like soldiers dying under my command."

He did for her what she'd done for Williams; he told her what she needed to hear, though it wasn't what she wanted to hear, when he said, "Jenkins wasn't your fault. You did a good job, Shepherd."

Shepherd did the same thing Williams had done too, she just deflected. "You said you needed to see me in private, Captain?"

He got serious then. "I won't lie to you, Shepherd," he said. "Things look bad. Nihlus is dead. The beacon was destroyed and geth are invading. The Council's going to want answers."

Like answers from her? "What the actual hell?" she thought. She said, "I didn't do anything wrong, Captain. Hopefully the Council can see that."

Anderson answered, ""I'll stand behind you and your report, Shepherd. You're a damned hero in my books. That's not why I'm here. It's Saren, that other turian. Saren's a Spectre, one of the best. A living legend. But if he's working with the geth, he's gone rogue. A rogue Spectre's trouble. Saren's dangerous. And he hates humans."

A little voice in the back of Shepherd's head said something about that being a bit of a curveball, while she reminded him, "He didn't come to Eden Prime because he hates humans."

"You're right," Anderson admitted. "Saren has allied himself with the geth. I don't know how. I don't know why. But it had something to do with that beacon. You were there just before that beacon self-destructed. Did you see anything? Any clue that might tell us what Saren was after?"

Just the dreams, but it did come from the beacon, so Shepherd had to be open. "Just before I lost consciousness, I had some kind of vision."

"A vision? A vision of what?"

Of course he was dubious; she would be in his shoes, she still was. "I saw synthetics; geth, maybe," she told him. "Slaughtering people, butchering them." It sounded even more unlikely when she said it out loud.

"We need to report this to the Council, Shepherd."

It took Shepherd a moment to realise he had taken her seriously, and then she could only snort in disbelief. "What are we going to tell them?" she asked. "I had a bad dream?"

"We don't know what information was stored in that beacon. Lost prothean technology? Blueprints for some ancient weapon of mass destruction? Whatever it was, Saren took it. But I know Saren. I know his reputation, his politics. He believes humans are a blight on the galaxy. This attack was an act of war! He has the secrets from the beacon. He as an army of geth at his command. And he won't stop until he's wiped humanity from the face of the galaxy."

There was some serious history here, Shepherd realised while she worked out how to answer. Anderson was not normally one to get side-tracked by personal things. He was totally serious, and apparently he expected her to be part of the next part of his scheme, which she could go with. Saren was the monster that just mutilated the corpses of the colonists he had just killed into weapons, then tried to blow up what was left of their homes. Well any scheme that let her hunt and kill Saren was welcome, no matter how biased its mastermind. Into the silence that had fallen while she considered, she said, "I'll find some way to take him down."

"It's not that easy," Anderson told her. "He's a Spectre. He can go anywhere, do almost anything. That's why we need the Council on our side."

That made a little sense, much as she wondered why they had to personally go to the Citadel for that; all the evidence was in the files. So she ended his train of thought for him, saying, "We prove Saren's gone rogue and the Council will revoke his Spectre status."

Anderson nodded and concluded, "I'll contact the ambassador, and see if he can get us an audience with the council. He'll want to see us as soon as we reach the Citadel. We should be getting close. Head up to the bridge and tell Joker to bring us in to dock."


	5. Chapter 4: I hate politicians

As she came out of the medbay, Kaidan called out to her, "Glad to see you're ok, Commander."

Shepherd just nodded at him. Williams was stood nearby, and Shepherd wanted to talk with her first.

Ashley echoed what Kaidan had said when Shephed approached. "I'm glad you're ok ma'am. The crew could use some good news after what happened to Jenkins."

Shepherd nodded and gave respect to the dead. "Jenkins was a valuable part of this crew."

"Part of me feels guilty over what happened," Ashley told her. "If Jenkins was still alive, I might not be here."

That was ludicrous, but then it was easy for Shepherd to say that. She just said quietly, "You're a good soldier, Williams. You belong on the Normandy."

Ashley nodded her appreciation and said, "Thanks Commander, I appreciate that."

Shepherd was more concerned with Ashley right now though. Here was a soldier whose experience Shepherd could relate to. After searching Ashley's face for a moment, she said, "Things were pretty rough down there. Are you okay?"

Ashley looked away. "I've seen friends die before; comes with being a marine. But to see my whole unit wiped out…" She faltered, and Shepherd knew exactly how she felt. Ashley went on, "And you never get used to seeing dead civilians. But things would have been a lot worse if you hadn't shown up."

Not knowing how to comfort, but knowing from experience that self-doubt was the hardest part, Shepherd told her, "We couldn't have done it without you, Williams."

Ashley smiled slightly and said, "Thanks, Commander. I have to admit, I was a little worried about being assigned to the Normandy. It's nice when someone makes you feel welcome."

"I think you're going to fit in here just fine, Williams," Shepherd said, thinking there were echoes of herself in Ashley Williams.

"Thanks, Commander," Ashley said, and Shepherd left it there with a nod and what she hoped was a genuine look of acceptance on her face.

Kaidan still seemed to want a word, so she went over to him. He said a lot of the same things as Ashley, except instead of sounding genuine and needing comfort, he seemed to want to comfort Shepherd, and she really didn't need it. He spoke about Jenkins, which would have been fine, but he came back to it like he thought he hadn't said enough the first time. Then he got onto how the mission was somehow a failure despite saving everyone in the main colony, because the Council would be cross. That bit blew her mind. Then when Shephed tried to steer him off the mission and asked him about himself, he came back and pressed her about her family. For a guy who seemed to mean well, he really, really needed to learn this thing called personal space.

Shepherd shut him down with a single sentence after he asked about her family, then gave him an order to keep him busy.

He just said, "Aye, aye, ma'am," and she walked on, feeling guilty because she knew she was over sensitive right now.

Shepherd headed for the cockpit, wondering what would happen on the Citadel. Saren had to be stopped, so heaven help the stuffed shirts if they got in the way. He was willing and able to wipe out entire colonies to cover his tracks. Whatever his plans, anyone near him was liable to become "collateral damage" or worse; join the ranks of the emaciated dead to kill, and be killed by, the ones they loved. Saren would be stopped, if it killed her.

Before long, Captain Anderson had Shepherd, Kaidan and Ashley in dress uniforms and on a rapid transit hop from the dock to the Alliance Embassy on the Presidium. The Presidium was the clubhouse of the elite and powerful from across the galaxy. If a person had even just a job there, they could claim to have made it to the top of galactic civilization. To Shepherd, that would normally make it a place to avoid. Today the rich and powerful were between her and a target.

Ambassador Udina was in discussion with the Council when they arrived. It did not escape Shepherd's notice that Anderson required no pass to enter Udina's office. While Udina and the Council wrangled, the four soldiers stood patiently observing the views of the Presidium the balcony offered.

Udina's talks were not going well, after many increasingly hopeless arguments, he finally lost his temper and exclaimed, "This is an outrage! The Council would step in if the geth attacked a turian colony!"

With clear disdain, the salarian councillor remarked, "The turians don't found colonies on the borders of the Terminus Systems, Ambassador."

Evidently the sentiment was shared throughout the council, since the asari councillor repeated the point, and even her patience seemed to be wearing thin when she said, "Humanity was well aware of the risks when you went into the Traverse."

Ambassador Udina gave up on his war mongering, and said, apparently for the first time in his debate, "What about Saren? You can't just ignore a rogue Spectre. I demand action!"

"You don't get to make demands of the Council, Ambassador." Shepherd winced as the turian councillor replied, and she realised how badly Udina had bungled this.

"Citadel security is investigating your charges against Saren," the asari said. "We will discuss the findings at the hearing. Not before." That was something, at least. Although the council had better hope Shepherd never discovered a cover up, and heaven help them if she did.

The council cut the connection, and Udina turned his frustration to the soldiers behind him. "Captain Anderson," he said in a dangerously low voice. "I see you brought half your crew with you."

"Just the ground team from Eden Prime. In case you had any questions," Anderson replied.

Word by word Udina emphasised his annoyance. "I have the mission reports. I assume they're accurate?"

Captain Anderson nodded and said, "They are. Sounds like you convinced the Council to give us an audience." Was it just Shepherd, or Anderson sound diplomatic?

"They were not happy about it," Udina said. "Saren's their top agent. They don't like him being accused of treason."

Shepherd thought she heard an accusation in the ambassador's voice. Was he hoping to bury this for diplomacy, just like the Council hoped to save face? Saren wouldn't get away with this, and Shepherd told Udina, "Saren's a threat to every human colony out there. It they don't stop him, I will!"

"Settle down, Commander. You've already done more than enough to jeopardise your candidacy from the Spectres." Shepherd felt like rolling her eyes when Udina said that, and he went on, "The mission on Eden Prime was a chance to prove you could get the job done. Instead, Nihlus ended up dead and the beacon was destroyed!"

Captain Anderson stepped in immediately, saying, "That's Saren's fault, not hers!"

Udina's nasal voice was beginning to grate on Shepherd's nerves as he retorted, "Then we better hope that the C-Sec investigation turns up evidence to support our accusations. Otherwise, the Council might use this as an excuse to keep you out of the Spectres." Speaking directly to Anderson, he said, "Come with me, Captain. I want to go over a few things before the hearing." Then he turned and ordered, "Shepherd – you and the others can meet us at the Citadel Tower. Top level. I'll make sure you have clearance to get in."

As he left, Ashley remarked, "And that's why I hate politicians." She wasn't wrong.

They had an hour to kill. At the embassy reception, they were pointed up to a lounge. Ashley and Kaidan went to hit up the bar. Shepherd headed out the back to the garden balcony. A moment of wistfulness over her missed leave was over almost before it began. Until this monster Saren was put to rest, she couldn't rest. She still believed. It didn't take long for the others to come out and find her. Ashley was whining about stuffy bureaucrats and steep prices. Kaidan was half-heartedly trying to justify said stuffy bureaucrats' existence. Unfortunately, Kaidan thought Shepherd would back him.

Shepherd shrugged and said, "They're just like normal people, Ashley." Ashley frowned, but before she could reply, Shepherd continued, "Some are good, some are bad, but most are just stupid. Only difference is when they make a mess, it's harder to clean up. Let them party in their ivory towers, so all they can screw up is a bottle of booze."

Ashley's face turned from the "respectfully disagree" frown to a smirk and she said, "You got that right, skipper."

Kaidan gave Shepherd a measuring look as it came to lean against the railing next to her. "Careful, Commander. If the politicians hear you talk like that, it's game, set and match so far as the Spectres are concerned."

Shepherd gave him a sidelong look. Why always the party line with him? "You can take my place, Kaidan. We're here to stop a war criminal with an army of synthetics at his back, not for Udina's games."

Kaidan shook his head and replied, "Respectfully, Commander, this is bigger than us. We need the Council now more than ever. If you were a Spectre, humanity would have way more support to bring Saren down."

"Like hell. Saren's one of theirs, they won't touch him," said Ashley. "Screw the Council, the Alliance doesn't need their kind of help."

They disagreed for a bit while Shepherd wondered what she was missing. What was Saren doing on Eden Prime? How had he convinced the geth to follow him? It wasn't about the beacon, because he must have allied with the geth long before that. No, the beacon was a stepping stone, like reconnaissance for the real objective. Tech? What did he download from the beacon? Anderson was hooked on the idea of it being a weapon, but if it was, why would Saren leave the beacon behind and risk his enemies finding the technology too? He hadn't had time to booby trap it properly. He knew she had been hot on his heels. He did have time to destroy the beacon, that was sure, maybe enough to cart it off on his dreadnought, but he left it untouched for her to find. Why?

Soon enough, it was time to head for the Citadel Tower, and Shepherd was still clueless.

In the lobby for the Council's assembly room, if that's what you could call such a palatial space, two turians, official looking, were in a heated discussion. "Saren's hiding something. Give me more time. Stall them," said one.

Shepherd stopped walking to listen.

"Stall the Council?" the second said. He appeared to be significantly senior to the first. "Don't be ridiculous! Your investigation is over, Garrus." With that, the second turian walked off towards the Council hearing.

The one called Garrus spotted Shepherd watching, and approached to introduce himself. "Commander Shepherd?" he said, with a respectful nod of the head. "Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren."

So it was like that. A non-military police officer had been stuck with a case he was never meant to solve. Perhaps he found more than his superiors wanted him to, but his hints and hunches were being thrown out in favour of the answer everybody wanted to hear; that there was no fire despite the smoke. One question remained, so Shepherd asked, "Who were you just talking to?"

Garrus glanced in the direction the second turian had left and replied, "That was Executive Palin, head of Citadel Security. My boss. He'll be presenting my findings on Saren to the Council."

"Come across anything I should know about?" asked Shepherd.

Garrus looked frustrated as he told her, "Saren's a Spectre. Most of his activities are classified. I couldn't find anything solid. But I know he's up to something. Like you humans say, I feel it in my gut."

Shepherd wanted to push him for details on the not so solid evidence, but Kaidan had seen the clerk hovering nearby and wasn't as eager to ignore him as Shepherd was. Just as Shepherd was about to open her mouth, she heard him say, "I think the Council's ready for us, Commander."

Garrus nodded to her and said, "Good luck, Shepherd. Maybe they'll listen to you."

Fat chance. The way they handled the investigation, the Council had reached a verdict long ago.

Anderson was waiting at the steps to the Council's little throne room. He didn't wait for pleasantries, just said, "The hearing's already started. Come on."

An authoritative voice could be heard speaking in tones of strained patience. It was saying, "The geth attack is a matter of some concern. But there is nothing to indicate Saren was involved in any way."

The turian Councilor agreed with his asari counterpart. "The investigation by Citadel Security turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason."

Udina answered, rightly, "An eyewitness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!"

"We've read the Eden Prime reports, Ambassador. The testimony of one traumatised dockworker is hardly compelling proof."

Shepherd's inner voice told her, "But it might be an indication, you duplicitous son of a…"

Saren himself, virtually present, said, "I resent these accusations. Nihlus was a fellow Spectre, and a friend."

"That just let you catch him off guard!" Was that Anderson who said that? Shepherd wondered again at his animosity.

"Captain Anderson. You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me." Turning to focus squarely on Shepherd, he said in a voice dripping poison, "And this must be your protégé, Commander Shepherd. The one who let the beacon get destroyed."

Shepherd checked every word of her reply before she let it past her lips. "The mission to Eden Prime was top secret. The only way you could know about the beacon was if you were there!"

Unruffled, Saren told the group, "With Nihlus gone, his files passed to me. I read the Eden Prime report. I was unimpressed." With a significant look to the Councillors, he added, "But what can you expect, from a human?"

So Anderson was right, was he? Well, then his racism might help bring him down. Shepherd stepped forward for emphasis, and said, "Saren despises humanity. That's why he attacked Eden Prime!" A twisted truth in the right place…

Saren bit. "Your species needs to learn its place, Shepherd. You're not ready to join the Council. You're not even ready to join the Spectres!"

"He has no right to say that!" shouted Udina's harsh voice next to her. Who called him a diplomat? Udina stated, "That's not his decision!"

The asari councillor told Saren, "Shepherd's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting."

"This meeting has no purpose," Saren replied bitterly. "The humans are wasting your time, Councilor. And mine."

Not that easy, surely? Shepherd looked back at the Council, measuring them up. Subtlety was their arena. Stubborn challenges might be the last chance to get the investigation reopened. Decided, Shepherd said, "Saren's hiding behind his position as a Spectre. You need to open your eyes!"

"What we need is evidence," replied the Salarian. "So far, we have seen nothing." No luck there then. What about the dockworker? Saren was up on a charge of murder. Anywhere else he would be suspended from active duty pending a full inquiry that would include an autopsy on Nihlus to determine the nature of the murder weapon and cross-reference the dockworker's description of the kill. The eyewitness would pick Saren out of a line up, and he'd be convicted. But this wasn't anywhere else. Saren was a highly trained killer in the employ of the three most powerful people in the entire galaxy. They couldn't afford to convict Saren of war crimes, and evidence cannot be seen by people who close their eyes.

Anderson said something about the vision. Shepherd inwardly cringed.

Saren said, "Are we allowing dreams into evidence now? How can I defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?"

"I agree," stated the turian Councillor. "Our judgements must be based on facts and evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation."

The salarian turned to Shepherd and asked, "Do you have anything else to add, Commander Shepherd?"

Plenty, but not in words. She would add Saren's name to the obituary column before the end of the year, but the Council didn't need to hear that, so she said, "You've made your decision. I won't waste my breath."

The Asari Coucnilor concluded the session like she was reading a script for a recorder. "The Council has found no evidence of any connection between Saren and the geth. Ambassador, your petition to have him disbarred from the Spectres is denied."

Saren's virtual presence glowered pointedly at Shepherd as he said, "I'm glad to see justice was served."

"This meeting is adjourned," said the asari, and just like that she signed Saren's fate. Removed from duty, the evidence might have put him in lockup for life. Now Shepherd would hunt him. When his face was in her crosshairs, no amount of convenient blindness would save him.

Anderson led Shepherd back to the lobby area. After he knew nobody was too close, he said, "Sorry I got you into this mess, Shepherd. For what it's worth, I think their minds were made up on this by the time we arrived on the Citadel."

"I'm still an Alliance soldier, Captain. We defend our people. That's what I signed up for. He's only a threat for as long as we allow him to operate unchecked. Just give me a good squad and actionable intel."

Anderson shook her head at her. "Believe me, Shepherd, the Normandy will chase him to the end of the galaxy. Although sometimes I think you should be a captain instead of me, Commander."

"They tried that, sir. Remember? They couldn't prise my gun out of my hands."

Anderson's reaction was cut short as Udina stormed up, apparently having got over his disappointment enough to chew someone out. "It was a mistake bringing you into that hearing, Captain," he barked. "You and Saren have too much history. It made the Council question our motives."

"I know Saren," Anderson said, switching back onto target like a dodged missile. "He's working with the geth for one reason: to exterminate the entire human race. Every colony we have is at risk. Every world we control is in danger. Even Earth isn't safe."

Yeah, right. AI constructs which had no contact with humanity before Eden Prime and lived on the opposite side of the galaxy wanted humanity extinct? Was there anyone around here without an agenda? Anderson may be right that Saren scorned humanity, but his credibility ended there. "Tell me about this history between you and Saren," she replied.

"I worked with him on a mission a long time ago," Anderson was pacing and fiddling with his hands like he wanted to hit something as he said, "Things went bad. Real Bad. We shouldn't talk about this here. But I know what he's like. And he has to be stopped."

"Focus, Anderson," she thought. Out loud, she asked, "What's our next step?"

Like most people, both Anderson and Udina seemed to calm down once they were given a problem they could help to solve.

"As a Spectre, he's virtually untouchable," Udina said. "We need to find some way to expose him."

Untouchable to Udina, maybe. Digging dirt on Saren was a good place to start finding weaknesses too.

Kaidan piped up after a moment, saying, "What about Garrus, that C-Sec investigator. We saw him arguing with the executor."

"That's right," Ashley agreed. "He was asking for more time to finish his report. Seems like he was close to finding something on Saren."

Good. Very good. To Anderson and the Ambassador, Shepherd asked, "Any idea where we could find him?"

"I have a contact in C-Sec who can help us track Garrus down. His name is Harkin," Udina told them.

Anderson said, "Forget it. They suspended Harkin last month. Drinking on the job. I won't waste my time with that loser."

Udina folded his arms and told him, "You won't have to. I don't want the Council using your past history with Saren as an excuse to ignore anything we turn up. Shepherd will handle this."

Did he know how dangerous that was? Shepherd wondered. Anderson was biased. He'd need help to find real evidence out of his paranoia, but he'd stick by proper process like he was married to it. Shepherd knew if she found something, she would act first and file the report afterwards. "You can't just cut Captain Anderson out of this investigation," she said.

Anderson answered, "The ambassador's right. I need to step aside."

Udina looked like a scheme had occurred to him as he said, "I need to take care of some business. Captain, meet me in my office later."

When he had gone, Anderson told Shepherd, "Harkin's probably getting drunk at Chora's Den. It's a dingy little club in the lower section of the wards."

Something in his tone said he still wasn't convinced it was a good idea to go that way, so Shepherd probed, "Maybe there's another way to find evidence against Saren."

Anderson looked relived as he told her his idea. "You should talk to Barla Von, over in the financial district. Rumour has it he's an agent for the Shadow Broker."

Ashley asked what was on everyone's minds, "The Shadow Broker?"

"An information dealer. Buys and sells secrets to the highest bidder. I've heard Barla Von's one of his top representatives."

"Have you now, Anderson," was what Shepherd thought. Anderson really had moved up in the world.

Anderson continued, "He might know something about Saren, but his information won't come cheap."

"Tell me more about this Shadow Broker," Shepherd said.

"He's a necessary evil of galactic politics," Anderson started, in his academy lecturer's voice. "Buying and selling information is part of the game, and the Shadow Broker just happens to be the best player on the field. Always sells to the highest bidder. Doesn't get involved in politics. Doesn't pick sides. A simple system, but it works. He's not a threat to anyone; not directly. He's just a resource we can use. Or she is. Or maybe they are. Nobody really knows."

Ok, so from infiltration plan to target intel. Shepherd said, "I want to know more about the Spectres."

"They're not your typical government agency. They tend to work alone, behind the scenes. The take care of problems the Council can't. It's not easy preserving peace across an entire galaxy. The Council prefers to use diplomacy and negotiation, but sometimes more extreme measures are needed."

"What's their command structure like?"

"There is no command structure. Each Spectre answers directly to the Council. Sometimes they're sent on specific missions. Other times they act on their own. They tend to operate outside the law. Do whatever it takes to accomplish their goals. And the Council just turns a blind eye. Spectres have a lot of power, Shepherd."

She considered. A couple of years ago, a rumour went around the N7s. A highly elite group had gone off grid. No word on reassignment, no notice of MIA or KIA, just gone. According to rumour, they were in a new unit without oversight. Nobody gave them orders, they just tapped into Alliance intel feeds and did the jobs that were so dirty any knowledge of them was a death sentence.. The N7s had a name for colleagues with unexplained permanent absence.

To Anderson, Shepherd said, "They sound like shadow operatives."

He nodded. "Everything about them is classified. We don't even know how many there are. The latest Alliance estimate puts their numbers under a hundred. But the Council couldn't do its job without them. They're the Citadel's top agents. The last line of defence. The last option before open war. The entire galaxy fears and respects them. If a spectre shows up, you know something big is about to happen."

"What happens when a Spectre goes rogue, like Saren?"

"It doesn't happen often," Anderson told her in a confident voice. How did he know so much? "The Council is careful when they select their candidates. But when something does go wrong, there's usually only one solution; send another Spectre to bring the rogue agent down."

Carefully chosen, for what? How did a psycho like Saren get in? Shepherd tried to keep her cynicism in check as she asked, "How do they decide who becomes a Spectre?"

"You can't just apply to join. There's no training program. Spectres aren't made – they're born," Anderson said.

Shepherd felt like rolling her eyes. She'd hoped for more than a promo speech.

Anderson went on, "The Council's always looking for exceptional individuals. People who can get the job done, like you. They've been watching you for years. They see something in you. They want you on their side. Nihlus was supposed to give them a final recommendation, but with him gone, things are still up in the air."

Not why she asked, but it was good to know the Council were wary of her. She'd wasted enough time; she had a job to do. Last question. The tough one. She pressed Anderson about his mission with Saren. He wasn't happy she did, but she didn't see she had a choice.

Reluctantly, he started talking. "About twenty years ago, I was part of a mission in the Skyllian Verge. I was working with Saren to find and remove a known terrorist threat. Saren eliminated his target, but a lot of people died along the way. Innocent people. And the official records just covered it all up. But I saw how he operates. No conscience, no hesitation. He'd kill a thousand innocent civilians to end a war without a second thought."

"Killing innocents doesn't end wars, it causes them."

"I know how the world works, Commander. Sometimes you're forced to make the unpleasant decisions. But only if there's no other way. Saren doesn't even look for another option. He's twisted, broken. He likes the violence, the killing. And he knows how to cover his tracks."

"Carefully selected? Kiss my ass," Shepherd thought. The Council took the galaxy's best hunters and killers and set them loose with one proviso, hunt our enemies or we'll hunt you. Yet if getting the job done was all the Council wanted, they wouldn't hesitate to recruit her. No, they wanted the job done with no questions asked. They wanted their dirty laundry dealt with far away by people who wouldn't ask and they were concerned because Commander Emlyn Shepherd asked those hard questions. Screw them. If they passed her over, it was their loss, and her gain. If they signed her up and she found rot in really embarrassing places, she would enjoy watching them squirm.

Right now, she was about to find dirt on their favourite psychopath, whether they liked it or not. She said her goodbyes to Anderson and marched for the elevator. First to Harkin, she decided; so she knew whether she had alternatives when the Shadow Broker's front man asked too steep of a price.


	6. Chapter 5: Deals with the Devil

The Citadel was the largest artificial object in space, home to more than thirteen million people. Extensive trade networks poured goods through the docks. The bureaucratic engine of the galaxy received, filed, forgot and wrote the forms and letters that supposedly kept the galaxy turning. All the while, millions of people gave their sweat, and sometimes their blood, to keep their part of the whole space faring city functioning. Like any hub of government, trade, or living space, the Citadel was also rife with the lowlife, and not so low life, crooks happy to profit from the sweat and blood of the naive masses around them.

After one too many elevator rides, the team finally arrived in the lower wards. "Chora's Den", was not signposted. There was a club nearby called Flux, Shepherd decided to ask around in there.

Before she had moved even a few feet though, somebody called out her name. She was a little clumsy, which was the first thing Shepherd noticed, and unarmed. She was an attractive woman, and when Shepherd caught herself noticing, she immediately informed her brain that if it betrayed her like that again, she'd do something violent to it.

In Flux, one of the servers seemed to be upset about something, talking with a volus behind the bar. Shepherd headed over to ask about Chora's Den.

She cleared her throat, and the server span around, like she was shocked. "Sorry," she said, after she collected herself. "I'm kinda busy right now. So, uh, what can I do for you?"

Mentioning Chora's Den somehow troubled her, so Shepherd pushed her only a little with her troubles, and the girl started pouring out a story about her sister. It turned out her sister worked at Chora's Den, undercover for C-Sec, and Rita, the server her at flux, was worried. Shepherd promised she'd have a quiet word and asked directions. It seemed her luck was in.

Just the location of Chora's Den had Shepherd on edge. You had to go through the markets to get there. It was too crowded, and too similar to a city she'd passed through on the run from her foster parents in Vancouver. Her unease today was more than that though, like she was being watched.

Perhaps it was her misgivings that let her see a gun raised from the opposite walkway. She was in cover and moving fast as two high calibre shots whined through the air where her heart would have been if she'd not been alert. Ashley and Kaidan drew their pistols. Without armour at this point, Shepherd felt naked. It wasn't her first show though. Just thank goodness for the regulations that let embassies clear on duty soldiers to carry side arms.

There were only two. Signalling to the others to take cover and keep the enemy pinned, Shepherd shot off up the walkway, keeping her body hidden below the top of the railing. She heard screams from nearby as somebody heard Ashley open up on one of the hostiles. Hopefully whoever had screamed would be smart enough to stay down. A few seconds later, she came around the corner of the opposite walkway, and found herself face to face with one of the attackers, who had obviously had the same idea she had. Shepherd was faster than him. He was turian, metal face plates and all, but just like humans a combat knife through the eye socket was a death sentence, one Shepherd carried out before he blinked. She followed up with a quick second stab to the assassin's throat. Before he hit the ground, she caught him and propped his corpse up on the rail as cover. Now alone, and flanked, the second hitman showed too much target to Kaidan's biotics, and got hurled against the wall. Two shots to the face spat from Ashley's gun, followed by some choice language.

Kaidan guessed out loud what Shepherd wished she could confirm, that these were Saren's men. Shepherd called it in with Anderson, who was about as pleased as if she'd told him somebody had planted a bomb on the Normandy.

The fun wasn't over. Inside, two huge Krogan were facing each other down, their noses inches apart. Nobody else seemed interested. Shepherd held the other two back. Krogan could be stopped, but this was one argument she wanted nothing to do with while her armour was in a locker on the Normandy.

"Back off, Wrex," the first Krogan said. "Fist told us to take you down if you showed up."

A red flag went up in Shepherd's brain. Chora's Den wasn't just a dingy club. You didn't find bouncers making death threats or undercover work in an ordinary club. This place was gang territory.

"What are you waiting for," asked the larger Krogan. "I'm standing right here. This is Fist's only chance. If he's smart, he'll take it."

"He's not coming out, Wrex. End of story."

Wrex leaned in even closer to say, "This story is just beginning," then he left, grumbling at Shepherd and the others for being in the way.

At the bar, a girl who looked remarkably similar to Rita, from Flux, was serving drinks. Shepherd walked over and gestured for her to come over. Jenna poured a drink Shepherd didn't order, told her she'd set up a tab for her and walked away. After that, she didn't look in their direction. Shepherd gave up; she didn't want to blow the poor girl's already flimsy cover.

A middle aged man in scruffy C-Sec blues was lounging alone with a pint of booze on the table next to him. Unfortunately, that probably meant he was the man she came here to see. He noticed her looking, and called out, "Hey there, sweetheart. You looking for some fun? 'Cause I gotta say that soldier getup looks real good on that bod of yours." Shepherd stepped towards him, bored already of the lecherous old fool. He kept it up, and said, "Why don't you sit your sweet little ass down beside old Harkin? Have a drink and we'll see where this goes?"

"I'd rather drink a cup of acid after chewing on a razor blade," she told him.

"You trying to hurt my feelings? You gotta do better than that. After twenty years with C-Sec, I've been called every name in the book, princess."

Time to get this over already. Shepherd said, "I'm looking for a C-Sec officer named Garrus."

"Garrus? You must be one of Captain Anderson's crew. Poor bastard's still trying to bring Saren down, eh?" he looked off at a table nearby where some young turian was making a mistake with an asari that he would regret if his family found out. "I know where Garrus is," Harkin said, as he pulled his eyes back to Shepherd. "But you gotta tell me something first. Did the captain ever let you in on his little secret?"

Shepherd had already had enough, so she warned him, "Just tell me where Garrus is before things get ugly."

Harkin looked like he thought he was oh so knowledgeable, but he just looked like a paedophile. "But it's all related, don't you see? The captain used to be a Spectre." Shepherd frowned, and Harkin commented, "Didn't know that did you? It was all very hush-hush. The first human ever given that honour. And then he blew it. Screwed up his mission so bad they kicked him out. Of course, he blames Saren. Says the turian set him up."

Two plus two is four. Shepherd realised Anderson had just told her about that same mission. She wasn't interested in Harkin's toxic gossip, so she pushed back to the point, saying, "Just tell me where Garrus went."

Harkin seemed to lose interest when nobody was interested in him. He shrugged and told them, "Garrus was sniffing around Dr. Michel's office. She runs the med clinic on the other side of the wards. Last I heard, he was going back there."

So to the Med Clinic as fast as humanly possible. As soon as the door opened to reveal the three thugs threatening a terrified medic, Shepherd whipped out her side arm despite nearby civilians for the second time that day. It was twice too often. Of course the thugs made her. With the medic aa a human shield, the situation looked close to disastrous, except Garrus, who had somehow managed to get within a few yards, stepped out and shot the ring leader straight through the head.

With no guns trained on the medic, Shepherd put two rounds into the nearest thug and dived for the cover of the counter. Ashley put her own barrage of suppressing fire down as the remaining hostiles cowered. Kaidan gently pushed the medic into cover with his biotics. Two were left, and would have died if Shepherd hadn't shot the high pressure fire containment unit between them. When would people learn to be aware of their environment? Before they could recover, Garrus and Shepherd were standing over the two very wet, very dazed thugs. Garrus threw a pair of handcuffs to Shepherd, and pretty soon they were facing the wall with Kaidan and Ashley holding them there.

Garrus looked around, obviously enjoying what he saw. "Perfect timing, Shepherd," he said appreciatively. "Gave me a clear shot at that bastard."

Shepherd was impressed. It was a good shot. Risky, but brilliant. This Garrus was growing on her. "Glad I could help," she said.

"Dr. Michel? Are you hurt?" Garrus asked. Shepherd liked him even more.

"No," Dr. Michel said. "Thanks to you, all of you."

Now to the reason everybody was here. Hopefully Garrus's investigative instincts were as good as his aim. "I know those men threatened you," said Shepherd to the doctor. After a quick glance at Garrus to tell him he better back her promise up, she said, "But if you tell us who they work for, we can protect you."

Dr. Michel, bless her, didn't hesitate to tell them, "They work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up; keep me from telling Garrus about the quarrian."

"What quarrian?" Shepherd asked, deliberately reminding herself as she did what the doctor had just been through.

"A few days ago, a quarrian came by my office. She'd been shot, but she wouldn't tell me who did it. I could tell she was scared. Probably on the run. She asked me about the Shadow Broker. She wanted to trade information in exchange for a safe place to hide."

"Then what?"

Dr. Michel's distress had been growing through the story. She sounded almost guilty when she said, "I put her in contact with Fist. He's an agent for the Shadow Broker."

Garrus filled the gap in Shepherd's mind. "Not any more," he said. "Now he works for Saren, and the Shadow Broker isn't too happy about it."

Dr. Michel raised her eyebrows in genuine surprise. "Fist betrayed the Shadow Broker? That's stupid, even for him. Saren must have made quite the offer."

Garrus nodded and observed, "That quarrian must have something Saren wants. Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get."

From experience, it paid to hear every story to the end before making your conclusion, so Shepherd turned back to the doctor and asked, "What else can you tell me about the quarrian?"

"I'm not sure," the doctor replied, scratching her head. "Like I said, she wanted to trade information for a place to hide. She didn't… wait a minute! Geth. Her information had something to do with the geth!"

Garrus jumped straight to the conclusion. "She must be able to link Saren to the geth. There's no way the Council can ignore this!"

"Time we paid Fist a visit," Shepherd replied."

Garrus held out a restraining hand before they turned to go. "This is your show, Shepherd," he said. "But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I'm coming with you."

Like hell he did, but a C-Sec officer could validate her findings to the Council. She said, "Welcome aboard Garrus."

"You know we aren't the only ones going after Fist. The Shadow Broker hired a krogan bounty hunter named Wrex to take him out."

Ashley looked over her shoulder and said, "Yeah, we saw him in the bar."

Shepherd took a moment to think. No way was a bounty hunter coming near Fist before he talked about the quarrian. She didn't want him on the team, not at all, but if he turned up at the wrong moment, things could go sideways very quickly. Better to have him on side, so she could control him. The real question was why a C-Sec officer wanted to work with a known bounty hunter. Perhaps Garrus was more trigger happy than she thought.

To keep him happy, Shepherd told him, "A krogan could come in handy."

"Last I heard," Garus said, "He was at the C-Sec academy."

Of course that was too much for Kaidan, who demanded, "What's he doing there?"

Garrus replied, "Fist accused him of making threats. We brought Wrex in for a little talk. If you hurry, you can catch him at the academy before he leaves."

That put a time pressure on the whole thing. Shepherd asked Garrus she'd leave him to process the prisoners while she met Wrex, then meet him in the markets in forty. That might just give her time to suit up. This was unlikely to go down without a fight.

As soon as they were in the taxi, Kaidan started saying, "Are you sure taking this krogan along is a good idea?"

"Are you kidding?" Ashley exclaimed. "Chora's den is going to be crawling. Fist will know we're coming after we took down his goons at the clinic. We could use the extra firepower."

"Sure," Kaidan acknowledged. "He'll be useful if it comes to a fight, but can we afford to work with a bounty hunter? It's sketchy enough us taking part in a C-Sec raid without clearance, but Wrex sounds like somebody we should be helping to arrest, not welcoming onto the team. Since when does the Alliance back up professional assassins?"

"Since never, Kaidan," Shepherd told him, icily. She shared most of his reservations, although she could care less what people thought. "If C-Sec had enough on him to arrest him, they would be doing more than talking to him. Wrex will be outside with you, covering our asses in case of reinforcements. We just need him where he can't blindside us."

"So you want me to keep a krogan out of a fight? You're the N7 here, Commander."

"He'll get his bounty. Fist is a connection to Saren. If we get a chance, we let him run, bugged. Then we say he fell down a waste incinerator out back or something daft like that, Shadow Broker will pay out without the body, so long as Fist is out of the equation."

Ashley whistled. "Get you, Commander. When did you do this before?"

Shepherd frowned and said, "Once upon a classified time, Gunny." The answer was easy. Moon of Torfan, 2178. Her first major combat mission after Akuze. As one of no fewer than twenty-four top tier N6 and N7 programs, her mission had been to bring tensions between rival gangs and syndicates to the boil, and rig a series of charges that would disable off world coms when the Alliance fleet arrived to wipe their bases from existence. Criminals were easy to manipulate; too many enemies.

"Fair enough," Williams said. "I'm just glad you're on our side, Commander."

At C-Sec, the krogan Wrex was surrounded by three officers, and looked as unconcerned as you please. One of them was saying, "Witnesses saw you making threats in Fist's bar. Stay away from him."

Wrex's voice was unnervingly self-assured when he replied, "I don't take orders from you."

To his credit, the human C-Sec officer stood his ground despite the intimidating bulk of pure killer glowering down at him. He answered, "This is you only warning Wrex."

Wrex leaned closer, and the officer finally recoiled a little, though maybe that was just krogan bad breath. Wrex said, "You should warn Fist. I will kill him."

"You want me to arrest you?" the officer asked, incredulously.

Wrex chuckled. "I want you to try." He saw Shepherd and decided the conversation's fun was over, so he just walked on over.

"Do I know you, human?" Wrex asked. Yep, it had been bad breath that made the officer recoil.

Shepherd had smelled worse though, by a very long way. She looked him in the eye and said, "My name's Shepherd. I'm going after Fist. Thought you might want to come along."

Wrex nodded knowingly. "Shepherd?" he pondered to himself. "Commander Shepherd? I've heard a lot about you. We're both warriors Shepherd." Shepherd's folded arms dropped to her sides as he stepped closer and said, "Out of respect I'll give you fair warning. I'm going to kill Fist."

Walking over from he doorway, Garrus said, "Fist knows you're coming. We'll have a better chance if we all work together."

Wrex narrowed his eyes. "My people have a saying," he said. "Seek the enemy of your enemy, and you will find a friend."

Shepherd, wincing for what she knew was about to happen, held out her hand and let him shake it, or rather crush it. She managed to keep her voice together to say, "Glad to have you on the team Wrex." Lying was becoming too easy, she thought.

Wrex cracked his neck and said, "Let's go. I hate to keep Fist waiting."

"Let us fetch our gear. Wait with Garrus for ten minutes." Shepherd turned to Garrus with a raised eyebrow and said, "Speaking of, how'd you get here so fast?"

"Well, headquarters said I'd have to wait an hour for pickup," he said rather sheepishly. "Everyone's down on Zakera Ward; some nonsense workers' rights demonstration or something."

"Where are the prisoners?" Shepherd asked.

"Oh they're right over there, technically I'm supposed to wait for backup and hand them over on site, but I just called a cab. I'll say some rubbish about danger to bystanders if I waited. It's not like they'll complain, I did make two arrests."

Shepherd got the impression most perps didn't get brought in alive if they were stupid enough to draw a gun near Garrus.

Kaidan was appalled, and pushed for more. "What about the cab driver? There are so many ways that could have gone bad!"

"They're here aren't they?" Garrus replied. There was a little guilt in his voice though. "Go on, you better hurry. We don't want Fist to bolt."

Seven minutes later, Shepherd, Ashley and Kaidan stepped out of Normandy's airlock, armed to the proverbial teeth. A turian agent met them as they arrived back in the C-Sec lobby. Shepherd recognised him as the one who'd topped her on the way out of Chora's Den and said something about Jenna. Jenna was the sister of the bar maid in Flux. Shepherd had tried, and failed, to get Jenna's attention, though she was pretty sure Jenna had seen.

"No offence, Commander, but what the hell were you thinking?" the turian said, without preamble.

"I don't follow you."

"You could have blown Jenna's cover."

Ashley, in a steady tone, for once, said, "We were there to help her."

"I gathered that," he replied. "It might seem cold letting her take all the risk. But we're keeping a close eye on her."

That flipped Shepherd. She had seen one too many intel reports come from undercovers who were dead, run one too many extractions for agencies whose version of support for their agents was "if you're captured, we'll try to get you out in time." Shepherd let her anger talk in her tone as she said, "Do you really need to risk her life to get the information you want?"

"This job isn't easy, and it's usually unpleasant. I'll take help anywhere I can find it. But since you're so concerned with her safety, maybe there's a way we can help each other," the turian said.

Shepherd could have spat, but Garrus was less bothered, and he called across the lobby, "Nice to see you're still working all the angles, Chellick."

"It's part of the job," Chellick replied firmly. Then back to Shepherd he said, "Now are you going to help me or not?"

Shepherd looked at the time. It was going by too quickly. "You're a smart guy, Chellick. Figure out another way."

"I do have several contingencies. She's just my option "A"." he hesitated a moment, then on a prompt from Shepherd's left eyebrow, he promised, "I'll cut her loose, even get her out of Chora's Den, no strings attached. But…That still leaves my case unsolved. I could use your help."

He liked the sound of his voice too much, but Shepherd wanted Jenna out of that place before the raid, so she said, "I'll help you, but I need some details."

Chellick smiled, if turians smiled. "I'm trying to track down an illegal arms producer," he said. I just need some of his product. Thanks to Jenna's intel, I've learned there's a seller here on the Citadel. Meet our man, named Jax. Pick up the mods and bring them back here. That'll give me everything I need."

Impatiently, Shepherd asked, "Where can I find this Jax?"

"Jax is down in the lower levels of the markets," Chellick told her. "I'll send word through our channels that you're the buyer. Good luck, Commander."

Finally, Shepherd could tell him, "Make the call to Jenna, now. Tell her to leave now, if she can do that without getting shot. If not, tell her to get low and stay low, preferably out of sight."

"What's the rush, Commander?"

Shepherd walked on by him and called over her shoulder, "I don't want her blood on my hands. Make the call Chellick, now."

While Chellick wasted her time, Garrus was accosted by the Executor, who had somehow discovered Garrus was still tracking Saren and had come down specially to take him off the case, again.

"Are you out of your mind?" Executor Palin was saying. "I will not sanction a military raid on a civilian establishment. I told you before, you're off the case. We'll deal with fist when we have the manpower back from Zakera Ward."


	7. Chapter 6: The Devil's Mistake

"With respect, sir," Garrus replied impatiently, "Fist is as good as gone if we wait, along with any evidence we could use to take down his organisation."

Esecutor Palin bristled. He said, "Since when were you on that case, Garrus. You know that's Chellik's business."

Shepherd stepped forward and said, "Chellik has just agreed to shut down his operation in Chora's Den in exchange for some help from me on his case. He's pulling his contact out now."

"Sir, Fist is going to bolt," said Garrus, with urgency telling on his voice. "We both know he'll take any chance we have of tracking Chellick's arms dealer right along with him. We have to move quickly."

Executor Palin looked almost like he was in pain, but he finally gave the nod. "Alright. But Garrus you're in command of this raid, and if even one bystander gets hurt, I'll arrest you myself. And you, Commander Shepherd, this isn't Akuze. If you or anyone of your team so much as shows the muzzle of your gun to someone not pointing one back, you will answer to me in court, understand?"

Shepherd nodded respectfully.

"Of course, sir," Garrus said, already moving with the others to the waiting C-Sec fast response speeder.

"Where's Wrex?" Shepherd asked quietly as she caught up.

Garrus whispered back, "I didn't think it would be a good idea for Palin to find out he was with us. I sent him to the markets to make sure Fist doesn't get out of the Den. Wrex said if Fist came out or if we didn't get there by noon, he was going in alone."

Shepherd glanced at the time and cursed. That was literally zero wiggle room. "Right, step on it," she said, buckling in as Garrus opened up the throttle. "Know any shortcuts?"

Garrus dared to look away from the traffic for a split second in surprise. "Didn't peg you as the corner-cutting type, Commander. After your bother over those prisoners, I thought you played by the book."

"Up until it puts innocent lives at risk, yeah," she said. "Those crooks could have killed the cabby or put you in a crash. But if getting there one minute earlier means we get there before Jenna gets made, or before Wrex blows that whole area of the Citadel apart, you could speed through Citadel Tower and I wouldn't complain."

Garrus chuckled as he put the speeder into a gut wrenching dive. "There's a lot of people would love to crash a speeder through the Council chambers." Shepherd thought that might be preferable to the small the maintenance access tunnel Garrus seemed to be aiming for. Inside, it was bigger than she thought, but it was still terrifying doing these speeds around moving cranes and work platforms.

With a whine of overheated engines, the speeder emerged out of the tunnel and span to a stop from the high speed transit route under Chora's Den. Wrex looked back from where he had been about to kick in the doors, and it was probably disappointment Shepherd saw when he stepped back.

Shepherd took command, the Executor could screw over it all he liked; damned if she let a cowboy like Garrus take point on this one. "Garrus, Ashley, with me. Kaidan, Wrex, cover the speedway and the markets access, I don't want anyone coming in after us." She almost forgot, since normally she didn't need to say it, but with Garrus and Wrex, she said, "Check behind your targets, no civilian casualties, and minimum collateral so no explosives. Understood?" They were stacked up outside the door. Wrex was stood there, looking like he didn't know what to do or say. She looked right at him and raised her voice, " _Understood_ , Wrex?"

He growled and nodded reluctantly, then hefted a shotgun the size of a small suitcase off his back. Shepherd breathed and closed her eyes, then gave the order to breach.

Hard target assault was not Shepherd's favourite mission profile, especially with no recon. From the doorway, she put five rounds into the shields of the guy across the room while Garrus unloaded on the closest target behind the bar. With his fire for cover, Shepherd moved and stayed low. Ashley stayed at the door for a moment to cover as well, then all of a sudden targets were dying everywhere as all three stood and moved in as one, muzzles seeking, finding and eliminating targets as fast as they appeared. That was when the krogan bouncer they'd seen earlier came from the back of the club.

"Ash, cover left!" Shepherd called, then dropped to one knee under a shotgun blast from the oncoming krogan. If he had charged, life would have been harrowing for a while, but he came on slow at first, taking concentrated fire from two highly trained operatives with military grade assault rifles. Not even krogan shields could take that for long, and when the shields flared and died, Shepherd began firing in bursts, alternating between the eyes. The krogan charged, but be couldn't see through the impacts on his helmet, and as he crashed past, Shepherd deftly stuck a tech grenade over the weakened armour of his right eye. There was an explosion of arcing, high voltage electricity, and the krogan collapsed, dead or unconscious from the shock to his brain.

"Nice!" Garrus exclaimed, looking thrilled with life. "I'll have to remember that one."

"If it's krogan, just use the nearest bomb," Ashley said.

There was a booming laugh from Wrex outside. "Ha! You got that right, kid! Wish you'd left him to me though. Could have gutted that punk like a varren."

Shepherd was moving quickly forwards, and Ashley and Garrus followed, spreading around the room, clearing all the hiding places as they went. "Wrex, if Fist has any friends on the way, they're all yours," Shepherd said. As she spoke, she signalled Ashley and Garrus to stack up on the corridor to the back.

There were two more in there. One stun grenade later, they withered under fire from three well aimed assault rifles.

The door ahead opened, and three guns flicked straight to the two targets behind it. "Stop right there!" one of the hostiles called in a desperate voice, with his outmoded pistol aimed roughly in Shepherd's direction. "Don't come any closer!" If he hadn't called out, he would be dead, along with his friend.

Shepherd lowered her gun and held up her hand to the others.

Garrus scoffed, "Warehouse workers. All the real guards must be dead."

"Stay back, or we'll shoot!" one of them said.

These guys were in the wrong place at the wrong time, given guns and made to use them for a boss they probably didn't like. "This would be a good time to find somewhere else to work," Shepherd told them, gesturing at them to get out.

They jumped at it. One of them tried to keep the gun, but as he ran past Shepherd, she smoothly relieved both it, and his ability to move his wrist without medical treatment. He cried out in pain, but he had lost her sympathy. She gave him a shove towards the exit and called after him, "Don't make me regret it."

"I'd have never thought of that," Garrus admitted.

Ashley surprised Shepherd by answering, "Shooting people isn't always the answer."

One more door later, and they found Fist with two combat drones for body gaurds. Garrus and Ashley targeted him, and so did Shepherd until she saw the armour he was wearing. The combat drones were much easier targets. With a signal from cover, she got Garrus to put out an overload charge from his omni-tool on one while she did the same on the other. Ashley rolled out of cover and held her trigger down on one of them. It was an impressive barrage. Garrus and Shepherd took the other down, which blew, and knocked Fist to the ground. As a team, they all moved up, guns trained right at him.

"Wait! Don't kill me! I surrender!" he cried.

Shepherd thought he sounded more desparate than his conscripts outside. She played to it, swapping out her rifle for the pistol as she stood right over him. "Where's the quarian?" she demanded, with the weapon aimed right at his face.

Fist's desperation waned, but it was still there when he told them, "She's not here. I don't know where she is. That's the truth!"

Ashley put her gun back in its mount on her back and said, "He's lying."

For her part, Shepherd just kept up the pressure. "You better start explaining before I lose my temper," she said.

He was really worried then, Shepherd could tell. "The quarian isn't here. Said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker himself."

"Impossible," Garrus remarked. "the Shadow Broker only works through his agents."

Fist dared to get up and look Shepherd in the face to say, "Nobody meets the Shadow Broker, ever. Even I don't know his true identity. But she didn't know that. I told her I'd set a meeting up. But when she shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her."

Barely managing to contain her rage, Shepherd gripped him by the throat and demanded, "Give me the location. Now." He hesitated and she threw him off.

"Here on the wards," Fist said, pointing to a point on the map he had on the bulkhead. "The back alley by the markets. She's supposed to meet them right now. You can make it if you hurry."

Shepherd swung a vicious right cross on his jaw that sent him staggering backwards. Before he recovered, she forced him back against the wall with her forearm at his throat, and with her left hand, she slipped the tracking tag into a seal of his armour. Armour like this, he would never let it out of his sight. "You're not my concern," she told him, nodding to the escape route Fist had been opening in the wall when they arrived.

Fist nodded and left like a dog with its tail between its legs, promising never to be seen again.

Then Shepherd was all action again, literally sprinting out through the club with the others struggling to keep up. "Kaidan!" she called over radio. "Get what you can off Fist's computers before C-Sec gets here with their red tape! Wrex, cover him! You two, with me!"

"We've got incoming, Commander!" Kaidan called. Not for long they didn't. Between the five of them, it was over as quickly as it began.

"Get to that office!" Shepherd shouted to Kaidan over the last few shots. "Make sure Fist doesn't erase anything, and get what you can." Then she started running again. Whatever was happening in Zakera Ward, it seemed Executor Palin had managed to get squad cars here anyway. By the number of approaching sirens, there were quite a few. Shepherd was already in the back alley as C-Sec deployed.

There was a conversation going on down there, reaching its end. Apparently this quarian had brains as well as guts, because she was calling the deal off. Before she could be attacked, she threw a tech grenade at two salarian assassins waiting nearby and bolted for cover. Thanks to fire from Shepherd's team, Saren's turian representative bugged out to cover too. He was a tough bastard, but with odds like these and on low ground, he didn't stand a chance. As he fell, the quarian emerged from hiding, exclaiming to herself, "Fist set me up! I knew I couldn't trust him!"

"Were you hurt in the fight?" Shepherd asked.

"I know how to look after myself," the quarian said. Then she carried on, sounding for all the world like this was all in a day's work. "Not that I don't appreciate the help. Who are you?"

"My name's Shepherd. I'm looking for evidence to prove Saren's a traitor."

"Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life. But not here. We need to go somewhere safe."

"The ambassador's office," Ashley suggested. "It's safe there. He'll want to see this anyway."

The ambassador was waiting for them when they arrived, his back turned, looking dramatically over the Presidium below. "You're not making my life easy, Shepherd. Firefights in the wards? An all-out assault on Chora's Den. Do you know how many…" He turned around and saw the quarian. "Who's this?" he asked. "A quarian. What are you up to, Shepherd?"

"Making your day, Ambassador. She has information linking Saren to the geth."

Udina looked less than convinced. "Really? Maybe you better start from the beginning, Miss…?"

"My name is Tali. Tali Zorah nar Rayya."

Still cautious, Udina said, "We don't see many quarians here. Why did you leave the flotilla?"

"I was on my pilgrimage, my right of passage into adulthood," Tali explained.

"Tell us what you found," said Shepherd, eager to get to the point.

"During my travels I began hearing reports of geth. Since they drove my people into exile, the geth have never ventured beyond the Veil. I was curious. I tracked a patrol of geth to an uncharted world. I waited for one to become separated from its unit. Then I disabled it and removed its memory core."

Anderson said in doubting tones, "I thought the geth fried their memory cores when they died. Some kind of defence mechanism."

"What did you find out?" Shepherd asked Tali, not grateful at all for the interruption. If anyone could get at a geth memory core it was a quarian; the geth were their creations after all.

"Most of the core was wiped clean," Tali said, "but I salvaged something from its audio banks." She tapped a few buttons on her omni tool.

Saren's disembodied voice sounded in the room. He was saying, "Eden Prime was a major victory! The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the conduit."

Anderson got excited. "That's Saren's voice," he said. "This proves he was involved in the attack!"

Shepherd was more concerned with the not so obvious. "He said Eden Prime brought him one step closer to finding the conduit. Any idea what that means?"

"The conduit must have something to do with the beacon," Anderson said, unhelpfully. "Maybe it's some kind of prothean technology, like a weapon." Shepherd looked at her feet.

Tali interrupted, for which Shepherd was grateful. She said, "Wait. There's more. Saren wasn't working alone."

Saren repeated what they'd heard him say before, and then a second, female voice said, "And one step closer to the return of the reapers."

"I don't recognise that other voice, "Udina said. "The one talking about reapers."

Shepherd wondered where she'd heard about "Reapers" before. From where, she did not know, so she said, "I feel like I've heard that name before…"

"According to the memory core," Tali told her, "the reapers were a highly advanced machine race that existed fifty thousand years ago. The reapers hunted the protheans to total extinction, and then they vanished. At least, that's what the geth believe."

Udina folded his arms and grumbled, "Sounds a little far-fetched."

"The vision on Eden Prime… I understand it now," Shepherd said, half to herself. "I saw protheans being wiped out by the reapers."

Tali filled in the last missing piece by saying, "The geth revere the reapers as gods, the pinnacle of non-organic life. And they believe Saren knows how to bring the reapers back."

"The Council's just going to love this!" mumbled Udina.

Frankly, Shepherd wished he'd start worrying about what was true and what wasn't instead of what the Council would think. An entire race of sentient machines believed the reapers were real. Her vision was so real and vivid it burned itself into her mind every time she closed her eyes, and Saren's helper quite obviously also believed whatever evidence she had seen. The ambassador needed to get a grip, so Shepherd said, with feeling, "The reapers are a threat to every species in Citadel space. We have to tell them."

Anderson was still locked onto Saren. "No matter what they think about the rest of this," he said, "those audio files prove Saren's a traitor."

"The captain's right," Udina agreed. "We need to present this to the Council right away.

Ashley spoke up for the first time. "What about her; the quarian?" Shepherd would have to teach Ashley some lessons about xenophobia, it seemed.

"My name is Tali!" the offended quarian said, then turned to Shepherd. "You saw me in the alley, Commander. You know what I can do. Let me come with you."

That was easy. Shepherd replied, "I'll take all the help I can get."

"Thanks, you won't regret this."

Udina still looked unhappy, but then he always did. "Anderson and I will go ahead to get things ready with the Council," he said to the group. "Take a few minutes to collect yourself, then meet us in the Tower."

Once Udina and Anderson had left, Shepherd opened coms to Kaidan. "Kaidan, how's it going over there?"

"C-Sec were pretty fast, Commander. I think I got something off an OSD Fist dropped, but that's about all. Shepherd, we should just hand this to the authorities. We're Alliance soldiers, not C-Sec investigators."

"Relax, Kaidan. You didn't break the law. You just copied some files for Alliance intel. Fist was in with both Saren and the Shadow Broker. That data could be invaluable." A second thought came to Shepherd, and she said, "How's Wrex?"

Kaidan hesitated. "Um, he left before C-Sec could lock down the scene. He said he would meet you at the Normandy."

"Ok, thanks Kaidan. I'll meet you back there too."

"Aye-aye, Commander. If you don't mind me asking, how'd it go with the quarian?"

"Not now, Lieutenant. Anderson will debrief everyone when we get back." Speaking of Anderson, he seemed to have slipped seamlessly into position as Udina's right hand man in all this. He was higher up by far than his rank gave him any right to be. Was Harkin's gossip true? Had Anderson really been a Spectre before? Shepherd filed that question for later.

She decided to send Ashley back to the Normandy as well, since the Council wouldn't be impressed by too many armoured marines . Garrus and Tali she invited to join her in front of the Council. Both hesitated, but when Shepherd explained that they could each testify to critical evidence of Saren's wrong doing, both agreed. So the four of them headed down out of the embassy.


	8. Chapter 7: Promotion to Hell

There was a hitch getting into the tower, something about Tali not being cleared. It took seven minutes to be allowed in. By then, the meeting had already commenced.

As before, Anderson hurried them up the steps to the Council.

The recorded ghost of Saren's voice was heard again, condemning himself as emphatically as he had defended himself just a few hours ago in that very place.

"You wanted proof," Udina said into the silence that followed, pointing an accusatory finger at the Council who stood aloof on their podium. "There it is."

The turian councillor answered, "This evidence is irrefutable, Ambassador. Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and all efforts will be made to bring him to justice." Shepherd was grateful that at last the evidence was being seen, but she wondered just how much "all efforts" would actually be made.

"I recognise the other voice," the asari councillor said. "The one speaking with Saren. Matriarch Benezia."

"Who is she?" Shepherd asked.

The asari spoke like she might to a lecture hall. "Matriarchs are powerful asari who have entered the final stage of their lives. Revered for their wisdom and experience, they serve as guides and mentors to my people. Matriarch Benezia is a powerful biotic, and she had many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren."

"I'm more interested in the reapers," declared the salarian. "What do you know about them?"

Anderson answered, "Only what was extracted from the geth's memory core. The reapers were an ancient race of machines that wiped out the protheans. Then they vanished."

Shepherd added, "The geth believe the reapers are gods, and Saren is the prophet for their return."

"We think the conduit is the key to bringing them back," Anderson continued. "Saren's searching for it. That's why he attacked Eden Prime." Did he finally get past his grudge and see the real motives?

"Do we even know what this conduit is?" asked the salarian.

"Saren thinks it can bring back the reapers. That's bad enough," Shepherd told him. Saren may be deranged but the geth had seen enough evidence to be convinced, and an entire race of artificial intelligences could not be ignored. Then there was the vision, which Shepherd now believed to be compiled from the memories of once living protheans; it was too real to be anything but the truth.

The turian councillor had gone up in her estimation, now he dropped back down. "Listen to what you're saying," he said. "Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible, it has to be. Where did the reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we've found no trace of their existence? If they were real, we'd have found something!"

Apparently he still couldn't believe the depths to which Saren had sunk, and worse, he was so proud of the civilisation he commanded that he was blind to the limits of its reach. A fraction of the galaxy had been explored. Tight clusters of stars around mass relays were mapped, but vast swathes of space between those clusters were uncharted. History's turning point centred on discovering new relays. The protheans may have built hundreds more before their extinction. Yet this fool thought he could say for the whole galaxy that there was no trace of the reapers.

Shepherd could hardly believe it, and yet sadly she could. "I tried to warn you about Saren, and you refused to see the truth" she said, crossly. "Don't make the same mistake again."

"This is different," the asari said. "You proved Saren betrayed the Council. We all agree he's using the geth to search for the conduit, but we don't really know why."

"The reapers are obviously just a myth, Commander," explained the salarian, like Shepherd should have thought of that before. "A convenient lie to cover Saren's true purpose. A legend he is using to bend the geth to his will."

Shepherd shook her head and insisted, "Fifty thousand years ago, the reapers wiped out all galactic civilisation. If Saren finds the conduit, it will happen again!" How could they be so blind? Legends begin with truth and were twisted by time. They begin with reality. Geth were machines, built to run other machines. They did not write poetry, they did not compose myths for entertainment, because they had no need for that. Yet they considered the reapers to be real enough to start a war over it.

"Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life," the turian said, like Saren would be frightened for his life while he had an army of machines religiously devoted to him and backing his every move. "He no longer has the rights or resources of a Spectre; the Council has stripped him of his position."

Udina gestured angrily again. "That is not good enough," he said. You know he's hiding somewhere in the Traverse. Send your fleet in!"

"A fleet cannot track down one man," the salarian replied.

Shepherd reluctantly agreed. Until more was known, fleets and armies were useless.

"A Citadel fleet could secure the entire region," Udina poited out. "Keep the geth from attacking any more of our colonies." That wouldn't happen anyway. Saren wasn't interested in territory; he was after the conduit, whatever that was.

"Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems," replied the turian. "We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies!" Just like that, he made Shepherd hate him. She had to remind herself she agreed with his strategy even if she despised his reason.

"I can take Saren down," Shepherd swore, fully confident in herself so long as she had the right backing; the Council's backing. For the first time, Shepherd found herself hoping to be made Spectre.

The asari leapt on the opportunity offered, and said, "The Commander's right. There is a way to stop Saren that doesn't require fleets or armies."

"No!" the stubborn turian on her right replied. "It's too soon. Humanity isn't ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres."

"You don't have to send a fleet into the Traverse, and the ambassador gets his human Spectre. Everybody's happy," Shepherd said.

Some unspoken conversation happened between the councillors, and then it happened.

"Commander Shepherd, step forward," said the asari.

Anderson gave her a proud nod, and she stepped up as Ambassador Udina made room for her. As though sensing the gravity of the events taking place in the Council's meeting chamber, high ranking officials from every species in Council Space had been gathering on the observation balconies. Now they strained forward in anticipation.

"It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconaisance branch of the Citadel," the asari said as though reading a script.

The salarian was more eager to say his piece. "Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle, those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."

The asari stood straighter and recited, "Spectres are an ideal, a symbol." The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance." Shepherd might have snorted in derision were it not for the occasion. The asari continued without pause, "They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."

"Spectres bear a great burden," said the turian. "They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defence. He looked right at her as he went on, "The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold." Shepherd realised that for all his snobbery, he took his duty extremely seriously.

The asari concluded, "You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species."

Genuinely, Shepherd bowed and said, "I'm honoured, Councillor."

"We're sending you into the Traverse after Saren," the salarian told her. "He's a fugitive from justice, so you are authorised to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate him."

"I'll find him," Shepherd promised, and she felt the beginning was over, like a new chapter had started, and she wasn't sure that she wanted to know what came next.

Anderson was the first to congratulate her, while she was still processing how much had just changed in the space of a few days.

Udina was saying, "We've got a lot of work to do, Shepherd. You're going to need a ship, a crew, supplies…"

"You'll get access to special equipment and training now," said Anderson, sounding enthusiastic. "You should go down to the C-Sec Academy and speak to the Spectre requisitions officer."

"Anderson, come with me." Udina barked, like he'd suddenly kicked into a hidden second gear. "I'll need your help to set all this up."

Then it was just Shepherd, Garrus, and Tali. Three strangers stood in the heart of the most powerful place in the galaxy.

Tali's voice sounded awed, though her face was invisible under her mask. She said, "I thought the Ambassador would be a little more grateful. He didn't even thank you."

Shepherd knew why though. "Until I find Saren, I haven't done anything," she said. "Come on."

Even Garrus had a subdued tone when he said, "Right behind you, Shepherd."

After a detour to buy the illegal weapons mods for Chellick's arms dealer case, they headed back to C-Sec

"So, um, Shepherd," Garrus said, as they got back towards C-Sec. "Seems they think you're a one woman army. I don't suppose you, err… I mean you could probably use some… If you need anything, you know…"

"You're invited, Garrus, don't worry," Shepherd told him. "You handle yourself like a pro in a firefight, you've got a nose for the important details. Just remember, next time, I drive."

Garrus laughed and replied, "You sure? I could swear you turned a little green back there."

Shepherd grinned. "And then there's the humour. We're going to need that more than anything pretty soon."

"Speaking of funny things – what will you do with Wrex?" he asked. "He'll be a handful either way, but if I know krogan he'll be gunning for a spot on your team. They're suckers for a good fight."

"Then he's on the team," Shepherd said. "Whatever the Council think, we won't get to Saren without going through his geth army first. I'll need all the firepower I can get. I just hope he'll take orders."

"Krogan only follow leaders they think are strong, it's how they're wired. Outside the Den, when he hesitated? I thought he'd ignore you, but he must have heard something in your voice. If anyone can keep him in check, it's you, Commander"

"No," Shepherd said, remembering Wrex's gaze on her before he complied. "He just decided he couldn't take us down before Fist escaped."

"From a krogan," Garrus told her, "that's respect."

Emlyn wanted to sleep. It had been a long twenty something hours since she woke up in the medbay with the headache from hell. She felt she had a good chance too, since Udina was talking about finding a ship for her. Even a supply runner would have to be officially transferred out of its fleet, orders drafted and personnel records vetted for top tier security clearance. That would take time. Emlyn figured she'd be on the move long before Udina was ready for her, so she had time to catch some hopefully dreamless shuteye.

So Ambassador Udina was about the last person Shepherd wanted to see waiting on the docks. Worse, Anderson was not looking happy about what was being said.

She walked up to the pair, crossing her fingers for the promise of a decent ship soon so she could get on with the job. Udina looked over as she stood to, and said, "I've got big news for you, Shepherd. Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the Normandy. The ship is yours now."

A glance at Anderson's folded arms and closed expression spoke volumes, but he said, "She's quick and quiet, and you know the crew. Perfect ship for a Spectre. Treat her well, Commander."

"I'll take good care of her, sir," Emlyn promised, while she tried to work out if she should feel lucky or angry.

"I know you will, Commander," he said.

She decided to ask, "I want the truth. Why are you stepping down, sir?"

"You needed your own ship," he replied. "A Spectre can't answer to anyone but the Council. And it's time for me to step down."

He did not convince her with that last sentence, so she pushed. "Come clean with me, Captain. You owe me that much."

"I was in your shoes twenty years ago, Shepherd. They were considering me for the Spectres."

Emlyn blinked. Did she hear that right? Harkin had been right after all. "What happened?" she asked.

"I failed," he told her bluntly. "I couldn't make the cut. It's not something I'm proud of. Ask me later and I'll tell you the whole story. For now, all you need to know is I was sent on a mission with Saren, and he made sure the Council rejected me. I had my shot. It came and went. Now you have a chance to make up for my mistakes."

Well damn. No pressure then. "I won't let you down, sir," she promised.

Anderson brushed it all aside and said, "Saren's gone. Don't even try to find him. But we know what he's after; the conduit. He's got the geth scouring the Traverse looking for clues."

Udina told them, "We had reports of geth in the Feros system shortly before our colony there dropped out of contact. And there have been sightings around Noveria."

"Find out what Saren was after on Feros and Noveria," Anderson advised. "Maybe you can figure out where the conduit is before he does."

Vague. "Anything else," Shepherd asked.

"We have one more lead," Udina informed her. "Matriarch Benezia, the other voice in the recording? She has a daughter, a scientist who specialises in the protheans. We don't know if she's involved but it may be a good idea to try and find her. See what she knows. Her name's Liara. Dr. Liara T'Soni. We have reports she was exploring an archaeological dig on one of the uncharted worlds in the Artemis Tau cluster."

So geth armies at Feros and Noveria. Both were colonies. How long either could hold out would be hard to say. Feros would have to come first; they were obviously under attack. Then again, this Dr. T'Soni was on one of three things; Saren's payroll, wish list, or death list. She might even be onto something for Saren's search. If not, rule one of any warfare was avoid the enemy where he is strong, hit him where he is weak. Shepherd made up her mind on a quick pick up of a lightly defended scientist, followed by a race to liberate whoever was left at the colony on Feros.

She nodded after her pause, and said, "Sounds like we need to head for the Artemis Tau Cluster."

Udian and Anderson exchanged a look Shepherd couldn't read, and Anderson said, "It's your decision, Commander. You're a Spectre now. You don't answer to us."

"But your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole. You make a mess and I get stuck cleaning it up."

Shepherd replied, "I'll try not to make things any harder on you, Ambassador." Inwardly, she mused that he had probably used soldiers to clean up his mess more than once.

"Good to hear it, Commander. Just remember you were a human long before you were a Spectre," Udina said. He glanced at his watch and excused himself with customary lack of courtesy.

Shepherd and Anderson watched him go. Into the silence, Shepherd said, "How are you holding up?"

"Honestly?" he replied. "This isn't how imagined my career coming to an end. Pushing papers really isn't my thing, but you're the one who can stop Saren. I believe in you, Shepherd. If that means I have to step aside, so be it."

Shepherd hung her head. How did it come to this? Sure, he screwed her over to get her into the Spectres, but dammit Anderson had been the one officer who'd been a friend all these years. Not that she knew much about him, apparently. She had to ask, "Tell me what happened between you and Saren twenty years ago."

"Ambassador Goyle was our representative here on the Citadel. Like Udina, she wanted to get a human into the Spectres. She chose me. The Council sent Saren to keep an eye on me and evaluate my performance. Just like the sent Nihlus to keep tabs on you."

Anderson stopped. Shepherd pressed him cautiously, fully aware how bad the memories she was poking could be. She said, "I think I deserve the whole story."

"We had intel on a rogue scientist being funded by batarian interests. He was trying to set up a facility to develop illegal AI technology out in the Verge. Alliance intel had done all the work, but the Council wanted a Spectre involved. We compromised. I was assigned to help Saren in his investigation. We tracked the scientist to a refining facility on Camala. He was hidden away somewhere inside, protected by an army of batarian mercenaries."

Shepherd pursed her mouth in a whistle. Since he Alliance took down their schemes at Torfan, the batarians had been more devious about their support for operations like that.

Anderson continued, "The plan was simple; sneak into the plant, capture the scientist, sneak back out. Quick, quiet, and a minimum of bloodshed."

"I'm guessing things didn't go as planned?"

"Saren and I split up to cover more ground. Then about halfway through the mission, there was a massive explosion in the refinery core." Shepherd didn't like where this was going as Anderson went on, "Officially, it was ruled an accident, but I think Saren detonated it on purpose to draw off the enemy guards."

"How many casualties?"

"The explosion tore the refinery to shreds," Anderson confirmed. "The whole place was on fire. Black chemical clouds poured out into the atmosphere. Nobody inside survived. There was a camp for the workers and their families nearby. Between the fires and the toxic fumes, the final death count was over five hundred. Mostly civilians. Saren didn't care. The target was eliminated. Mission accomplished. And I ended up taking the blame. That ended all talk of my joining the Spectres."

"Saren caused the explosion. How'd he pin it on you?"

"In his report, Saren accused me of blowing his cover. He said it was my fault the guards were ready for us. He claimed that's why it turned into a massacre. Saren's report was all the proof the Council needed to kill my chances of becoming a Spectre."

Shepherd barely heard Anderson's last answer. She remembered nine months ago the batarian child who'd found her squad on his home world just hours before they were supposed to assassinate one of the terrorists behind the Skyllian Blitz. She couldn't keep him with them. She couldn't split her tiny team to guard him off site. She couldn't take down the terrorist and live to tell it if the kid spilled his guts. She couldn't just die trying, because if she did, she would provoke the blitz, or worse, all over again. One boy's life was the price for success. On her records, that night would be the only failed command in six years, if it were ever recorded. Alliance brass took pains to explain time after angry time how every drop of blood that target spilled from that day forth was on her hands, and she knew it. She puked her already malnourished guts up after debrief. Even as Anderson spoke, Emlyn wondered if she was right. It made her sick to her stomach.

Anderson hadn't made the call twenty years ago, Saren had. That wouldn't stop Emlyn feeling responsible if she was in Anderson's place though. "Don't blame yourself, Captain," she said softly.

"I don't. I blame Saren. I think he wanted things to go bad. He was looking for an excuse to blow that refinery. Maybe he just likes the violence. Maybe he was just trying to make me look bad to keep humans out of the Spectres. If so, he pulled it off.

If he didn't feel guilty, then shouldn't he have fought to stop Saren even then? "Why'd you let him get away with it?" she asked.

"Who do you think the Council was going to listen to? Me? Or their best agent? I had a bad feeling about him from the start. I should've been more careful. Maybe I could have stopped things before they got out of hand."

Shepherd walked to the railings and looked through the forcefield out into space. Monsters were here favourite prey. She shook her head and said, "The only thing I care about is stopping Saren."

Anderson joined her and mused, "You're right, Commander. It's no good living in the past." He sighed and asked, "You're a man down, with Jenkins gone, but I hear you're not short of volunteers."

Shepherd looked back at Garrus and Tali, still awkwardly standing off a few paces away. "You stacked the odds pretty high this time, Captain. I could use their help. You think Arcturus will let me?"

"Arcturus has nothing to do with that now, Shepherd," Anderson said. "Even I'm not you're superior officer anymore; nobody is. You wanted a mission where you could do some good, remember? You make your own missions now. The Council is unlikely to give you a direct order; they'll just give you intel and expect results. As for your crew, you can take whoever you like." He looked the two aliens up and down, then said, "Why don't you introduce me?"

Shepherd gestured at them to come over. "So, Garrus, Tali, meet Captain Anderson. He's been my CO more than once, and a mentor on occasion. Anderson, this is Garrus, the C-Sec officer who helped me track down that recording of Saren, and you know who Tali is."

"Good to meet you both," Anderson said, extending his hand. Garrus shook it confidently and Tali seemed to be feeling way out of her depth. "I take it you guys are joining the Normandy?"

"Yes, sir," Garrus confirmed.

"Two things you need to know about serving with Commander Shepherd," Anderson told them. "She gives two hundred percent, and if you don't match that you'll fall behind and find yourself on the slow flight home. But if you can keep up long enough, you'll be part of the most effective team in the galaxy."

"You're on guys," Shepherd said to them. "Last chance to ditch before we weigh anchor."

"Are you kidding?" Garrus said. "I can't wait to kick some ass for a change. Just show me my locker."

Shepherd smiled and nodded to Summers, who was standing guard. "Get Garrus and Tali a berth and somewhere to stow their gear. And tell Joker to prep for flight; I'll be on board in a minute." When it was just her and Anderson, Shepherd's shoulders slumped. She breathed shakily and closed her eyes.

"You ok, Commander?" Anderson asked.

Emlyn looked at him silently. Between warriors, that look was all the conversation they needed.

Shepherd told Pressley to prep for launch and headed straight for the Normandy's armoury. Even while she unclipped her armour, the ship's virtual intelligence announced, "Command authority of the Normandy SR1 is transferred from Captain David Anderson, to Commander Emlyn Shepherd." She slumped against the bulkhead and ran her fingers through her hair. The batarian child's frightened face ran through her mind's eye, followed by the empty open eyes of her dead friends, and their killer's face that night on Mindoir as Emlyn thrust his own knife up between two of his ribs. She had failed to avenge her friends because she was soft. Now Anderson, Udina, and just about everyone else put their fates in her hands. Hell.


End file.
